8am couldn't come fast enough. My sister met me at the surgeons for moral support. This time the right side looked good. So odd really when it was that side both times that the drain sites got so irritated and reddened. He aspirated 50cc/ml (about 1.5oz) of fluid from my left breast area. This was the largest amount yet for the time frame. The worrisome part is it looked murky. As the body heals the color of the fluid changes, however it should still remain overall clear. There may be some sediment or some strings of fibrous material. This didn't look as nice. My doctor really feels this was caused from having the drain and I would have to agree. He is sending the fluid to lab and put me on a different antibiotic. My chest is red and tender but no fever today. Needless to say I'm pretty bummed.
Today I posed the question to him. I explained that as I read his comments I feel he is NOT pro reconstruction. Without flat out agreeing he explained that he feels there is a huge push for women to reconstruct and he doesn't necessarily agree with that. He said every woman is different and at a different stage in their life. He has warned me before that reconstruction doesn't restore your natural look and you are going for how you will look in clothing. The end result sometimes isn't very pretty and often times women are not happy with it. He again brought up some of the risks in particular infection. He said he was so glad I did not choose immediate reconstruction because had I done that he would be taking me back to surgery now to remove the expanders in order to allow the infection to clear.He is very big on dealing with one thing at a time. I shared that I'm about ready to be done with this and just go back to surgery to remove the extra skin and stop worrying about reconstruction. His response was he didn't want me to make a decision now simply due to this set back and being frustrated about it. I assured him that would not be the biggest factor in my decision. As everyone knows I have struggled with reconstructing from day one. For those closest to me they know it is due to my fear of infection and my past history with infections. In some ways I feel this is the sign I asked God for when I've prayed for him to help me decide. If my body can't tolerate a small foreign object in it how will it tolerate temporary expanders and then permanent implants?
My doctors suggestion is to clear up this infection and then take a couple of months to ponder reconstruction before making a final decision. I understand that he doesn't want me influenced by a setback but not reconstructing has been my strongest gut feeling since day one. In complete honesty though, even though that's what my gut says, I kinda wanted to try it, however it would be in fear. I am not saying do surgery immediately-one I have an infection so it wouldn't be good timing, and two I don't want any surgery this close to graduation. Decisions decisions.
After my appointment I came home to nap. It's Senior Awards Night for Kinsey and I was determined to go. She earned quite a bit in scholarship money which will help out immensely as she is attending a private college.We are so very proud of all the hard work and determination she has shown in her high school career! It's been a fun journey but certainly more stress, illness, and injury than any kid should have. Just when we hoped her Senior year would be smooth sailing she has to end it helping care for her mom with breast cancer, for that I feel somewhat guilty. Although she seems to be doing well I know it's affected her. We are extremely proud of her and all she has accomplished! From a Benton Central Lady Bison to a University of Indianapolis Greyhound! You can see her beaming as she thanks her favorite teacher/mentor, also a Greyhound!
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