Through Thick and Thin

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Merry Christmas everyone!  I'm sure many are still celebrating with Christmas falling mid-week this year. At our home we celebrate through New Years and leave our decorations up for the full 12 days of Christmas that ends on the Epiphany. Love every minute of this blessed time of year!!!

I just wanted to take a moment to share a few holiday pics that were part of our special memories at the Deno home.

                                           Loved the early snow on our nativity.


"Brown paper packages tied up with strings. These are a few of my favorite things!"

                                                                     
                                                           Our gang!

                               
                                                24 years on December 30th


My sister had to "rig" our name drawing because she already had a gift for me...this awesome breast cancer purse!  The ornament was a little surprise from a dear friend and the necklace is from Kinsey. Love, love, love!

May you and yours continue to have safe and happy holiday celebrations and travels. Wishing the best to our troops currently serving, and praying for those who find the holidays a difficult lonely time. 
Blessing to you and your familys the remainder of 2013!

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Good Grief Charlie Brown it's almost Christmas! Like all of you we've been busy celebrating Thanksgiving and prepping for Christmas. Working hard here to stay positive and trying to enjoy the things I take for granted. Seems there is always sad news but it always ramps up around the holidays.

Our neighbors lost their barn and 9 horses in a tragic fire this week. We have one family member that struggles every holiday affecting all those around. A friend who has been fighting cancer several years was just told it has spread again, this time to a major organ. And lastly a young gal at church, just 38 with a husband and three young children, has invasive breast cancer. Stress is everywhere!

Survivor's guilt. Very real, very tough. I have certainly been experiencing that these last several weeks. Father led the entire congregation in prayer for our member with breast cancer and I had to fight back the tears. So worried for her and her family yet so thankful once again for my health. Sometimes it's tough to know if I should reach out. So glad I did as our Christmas card from their family reflected appreciation for our conversations. Glad that sharing my experiences can help bring hope and peace to another. Really praying for these two ladies whose holidays are filled with doctor appointments and treatments!

Fortunately we ended our week on a much brighter note. Kinsey got home Tuesday night for her Christmas break. On Wednesday morning her boyfriend knelt at her bedside wearing a Carhart jacket. Inside was a puppy wearing a collar with a very special present! We now officially have a daughter who is engaged, a son-in-law to be, and a grandpuppy "Bruce"!!! Kinsey, Kybren, Kybren's mom and I celebrated with a brunch here. (Yes Kybren asked our permission so we had a head's up). From there he took Kinsey to get her nails done and then they ran the circuit to show grandparents and Godparents. Tonight we are invited to the Fosters for dinner and more celebration. Exciting times ahead!




Yesterday Brody learned he was accepted to Purdue University!  Boiler Up!!! It is right out our back door and actually was Brody's third choice. Now he has a huge decision to make-University of Indianapolis, IUPUI, or Purdue???  That's a great problem to have!  We are so proud of him and his dedication to homework, work, and sports. Pretty sure I could not handle the schedule he sets for himself.


As I type we are under a winter storm warning and I LOVE IT!  Big fan of snow but especially at Christmas time. It seems to add magic to the air and really kicks me into high gear for the holiday season. It is my hope that this beautiful marshmallow world brings joy and happiness to those facing difficult journeys, those who are alone, and those less fortunate in any way. Stay safe all and enjoy this winter wonderland!





Thursday, October 31, 2013

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Last week was a 6 month oncology follow up. This time I saw Becky the NP (Nurse Practitioner). She did a very thorough breast exam and found no issues.We covered lots of bases but I did mention that my memory has been lousy since the last two surgeries. I attribute most of it to four major surgeries in 12 months and the fact that I didn't wake up well with the longest one. Of course there is also the factor of my age, almost 47. As we know dear old "Minnie Paws" is starting to show signs she is knocking at the door. UGH As I already knew Becky verified that surgery can have the effect on people and she herself has experienced it. Otherwise I got a clean bill of health and will be back in six months.

I've been anxious to speak with Becky about my idea of an informational handout for women with breast cancer. Apparently chemo patients receive a folder full of resources but those who do not require chemo do not get the information. She immediately acknowledged that we all hear the same thing, "You have cancer" and therefore all experience many of the same thoughts and fears.  Becky was very open to my idea of providing at least a flier to women who undergo lumpectomy, radiation, and even mastectomy but don't require chemo. I simply need to provide her with a list of reading material etc. that I found very helpful and she has agreed to make it available.  I'm thrilled! Now I need to get to work! If any of you have resources or reading references/websites you care to share please contact me and I would be happy to try to include those in the info I present.

On Monday at our regularly scheduled support group meeting our leader and founder Teresa outdid herself! She had F. Elaine Olsen, author of the book we have been reading together, Beyond Cancer's Scars lined up to Skype with us! Remember me focusing one post on "somethings'?  That was Elaine and her creative writing! She spoke with us for nearly an hour about her journey as well as how she has been able to relate it to scripture. Since you couldn't all join us I will share some of her insight. Elaine said that for many "cancer is a classroom and we are it's students. Survivorship has less to do with defeating the disease but more with defeating the silence about it." I couldn't agree more.  She says it's "less about beating cancer and more about beating silence. God intends for us to share our story." She feels our stories evolve into a type of "kinship".  So well said Elaine!

It was fascinating how she spoke of "destruction and reconstruction".  Hmmm, our breasts are destroyed and many are reconstructed.  We can relate this to the Bible in many ways, but my first thought reflected back on the many plagues.  I have often referred to cancer as a modern day plaque. Cancer can be so destructive to our bodies, our emotions, and even our daily lives but we can assist in "reconstruction" by giving of ourselves and "reaching out to others who need encouragement." Elaine had so many wonderful points to share I think we could have sat and listened to her all night. She will be sending us another book she has authored and I can't wait to read it.

In closing I will leave you on this stormy Halloween night with this...





Thursday, October 10, 2013

Thursday, October 10, 2013

You can't miss it because it's advertised everywhere-October is breast cancer awareness month. I absolutely love that businesses and organizations are helping raise awareness about breast cancer and are also raising money to help with prevention and cure. Statistically it affects one in eight which is huge when you think about it. All the hype and publicity, the openly shared struggles of fighters and survivors, they are all very empowering. I must say they are also a source of encouragement to me to be so open about my journey. It's no longer taboo to talk about boobs in public. Who would have thought that??? haha

That being said, I completely understand that for folks with other cancers all the pink may feel like a negative.  I will never forget the lunch I had last October with a friend diagnosed with melanoma. Deb was a guest writer here and she spoke at Relay for Life. She said sometimes she wonders "Where is my melanoma day?" That statement really hit home to me, especially as we sat in Panera and the restaurant was all decked out in pink. Pretty sure I have shared her thought before, but it seemed only fitting as I sit here and type in my pink shirt touting "Power in Pink" that I post something this month that isn't just all about breast cancer. All cancers are evil and anyone who hears the words "You have cancer" experiences a gamut of feelings that can be very overwhelming. We can buy shirts that represent other cancers, we can even have them made, but there is just something about strength in numbers. Those things will never have the same effect as pink plastered everywhere from newspapers, to football fields to cakes in a display window. 

In an effort to help educate and raise awareness about other cancers and diseases I hope to find more guest writers for my blog. Our stories are different but we have a common bond. Great strength can be gained from sharing and it can also be incredibly therapeutic. If you would like to be a guest here please feel free to contact me through my blog or my email at kbdeno@sbcglobal.net. Together we can make a difference!


Of course I will continue with my passion for pink but in the meantime may this rainbow of color represent all who are facing any kind of struggle.







Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Remember my friend Cameron Von St. James and his wife Heather who won her fight against mesothelioma? Well Heather has been working very hard on a campaign to raise awareness. September 26th is Mesothelioma Awareness Day. Please click on the link below to learn more about asbestos and mesothelioma.

Thank you Cameron and Heather for sharing your link. And might I add...Heather you look amazing!!!!

www.mesothelioma.com/heather/awareness
  

Monday, August 26, 2013

Monday, August 26, 2013

Our cancer support group met tonight for our monthly fellowship. We have been doing a book study which involves reading a book a few chapters at a time on our own then discussing what we read and how it pertains to our cancer experiences. The book is Beyond Cancer's Scars by F. Elaine Olsen. Elaine is a breast cancer survivor and quite a talented writer. She beautifully entwines her cancer journey and experiences with biblical accounts. She truly has a gift!

There are so many amazing points to be shared. She opens her writings with a most beautiful paragraph:

"Courageous is the soul who contends with suffering, wrestles with suffering, lays claim to a stronger spirit because of suffering, and refuses to retreat from the battle until something is gained from suffering.  Even if that something is as small (or as huge) as befriending another soul walking a similar path."

Such powerful words! She frequently refers to the fact that we all have a "something" be it big or small. It may be cancer, it may be another struggle we face in life. We are "walking wounded". How right she is! We don't need an illness or a tragedy to feel despair and hopelessness, that comes far too often in our everyday lives. We need a "something" every once in awhile in our lives to redirect us, to help us focus on just what is important and to put things in perspective. It is how we deal with our "something" that matters.

It seems that although most of the summer was pleasant and relaxing it has ended with a great degree of sadness. Our community experienced the loss of a spring graduate of our local high school, a young man just 18 years old. He was a nephew to good friends of ours. A freak car accident claimed his life and left us all deeply saddened. Many began asking why such terrible things happen, especially to young people. As I watched our friends during their difficult time I began to understand that the accident and it's outcome was their "something". We all prayed that they would stay strong and our prayers were answered. Although Cole lost his life in a tragic accident, he and his family were able to give the greatest gift of all...the gift of life! Cole's family chose organ donation and by doing so Cole saved at least four other lives. As I reflect back to the paragraph above it fits so perfectly with his story. Cole's family had to have courage, they suffered the deepest loss one can suffer, the loss of a child. Yet they didn't retreat but rather trusted God and fought on. They took a terrible experience, a horrible "something", and made a miracle from it! God bless them!

Elaine's book is quick to point out that God doesn't want us to wander our paths alone, He wants us to bear our crosses and become stronger. By extending a hand to each other as we face our "something" we connect, share, grow, and learn. Almost daily I am reminded that my cancer diagnosis, although seemingly a curse at the time, has actually been a blessing. Because of it so many people have come into my life. I have grown in many ways, I have learned so much about myself and others as well as the disease, and because of it God has strengthened my faith. Certainly I would have never asked for this "something", but in hindsight it has brought me many blessings for which I am very grateful!


Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

School is back in session and summer is nearly over. That's really a bummer to me because it was the first one in several years that we weren't feeling burdened with something major in our lives. After my last surgery I found myself struggling with left over feelings about my cancer journey. It seemed that since I was no longer preoccupied with surgeries, doctor appointments, dressing changes etc. I finally had time to just reflect on where I had been and where I was headed. There are some things that we can change about ourselves and our relationships, other paths we can choose, and of course there are things that can't be changed. I talked to Brad about some of my thoughts and asked if he would be willing to do some counseling with me. He declined. After much consideration I decided to go on my own. It seemed I needed help figuring out where my path was headed. Counseling was sort of a gift I gave myself. Our bodies work so hard to recover from the pain and physical aspects of an illness that sometimes we forget that our minds need tended to as well. Our local cancer support group is awesome for this, however I just felt I needed more.

Although family and close friends had offered their suggestions, speaking to a neutral person seemed to fit the bill for me. First was the confirmation that my family and I had been through a tremendous amount of stress related to health issues in a period of about five years-Brad's dad and my cousin both suffering serious strokes, my dad a massive heart attack, a hysterectomy for me, a mini-stroke for Brad, Kinsey a broken leg and surgery, sinus surgery for me, 10 months of severe debilitating headaches for Kinsey, gallbladder surgery and finally breast cancer for me. I was able to openly talk about the stress of medical bills, the toll it takes on a family when one member is down, and the frustrations of expectations in relationships. Whew!  Just thinking about it all is exhausting!!! Sometimes it is good to hear that the feelings experienced are totally normal. It was also very helpful to have someone tell me to continue to stay strong in the face of all opposition and adversity and that sharing my story is very comforting as well as therapeutic. My oncologist encourages a holistic approach and she too confirmed therapeutic effects of the above, combined with a healthy diet and exercise.

Another topic I felt I needed to "get off my chest" (haha) had to do with my struggles with reconstruction. So many have asked me if I am happy with my decision to go through with it. Honestly, it was until today that I could completely say YES! As I was doing housework and thinking over the process today was the first time I could say I am happy with my decision. It was a horribly difficult one for me due to fear of infection and because I felt so much pressure from others that it was the choice I should make. My doctor was so reserved about it and made it very clear that reconstruction was my decision to make and only mine. I am very grateful to him for that opinion and guidance. Discussing those struggles, although they were behind me, was incredibly helpful and healing!

I have referenced it before but taking care of our minds and emotions is such a huge aspect to our health and well being.  It doesn't matter what stage of life we are in or what we are facing, many of us could probably use a good dose of holistic health care. There are many days where something about my journey crosses my mind. Sometimes I still wish I had had a day where I just sat and cried and cried, just as an all out sort of cleansing system I guess. That hasn't happened. Talking to a neutral person who I could pay to listen to me instead of feeling like I was burdening a friend or relative was just the prescription for me! That decision alone helped me to feel more at ease and to be able to enjoy some great summer time fun with friends and family.


Monday, July 29, 2013

Monday, July 29, 2013

Although we camped this weekend with evenings dropping down into the 50's and tubed on the lake at the blistering temp of 70 degrees, it still seems appropriate to spend some time talking about the sun and it's link to skin cancers. 

I have invited my friend Deb to be a guest writer on "Journeys" and share her cancer story with you. Her journey began about the same time as mine so we have shared a lot over the past 18 months. Deb spoke at our Benton County Relay for Life and following is what she had to say about her cancer experience.  Please read her story and then pick up the phone and schedule your full body exam with a dermatologist. You don't have to have a family history or even extensive exposure to the sun to fall victim to a wide variety of skin cancers. 

Thank you Deb for agreeing to be a guest on my blog.  Your story is very inspiring and your strength and courage so uplifting. Thanks so much for sharing!


My Cancer Journey
Deb Wallpe

My cancer journey started with a mole on my left thigh.  It had been there for as long as I can remember.  I kept an eye on the mole over the years because of an awareness of the ABCDE’s of skin cancer. 
·        A is for asymmetry.  If one half is different from the other half, this is a concern. 
·        B is for border.  Borders should not be irregular, scalloped or poorly defined. 
·        C is for color.  Moles that have different shades of tan, brown or black, or appear red or blue are a concern. 
·        D is for diameter.  If a mole is the size of a pencil eraser or larger, you should have it checked. 
·        E is for evolving.  You should always have a doctor look at moles that appear to be changing in size, shape or color. 
Because my mole appeared to be growing taller, I consulted my doctor who advised that it needed to be removed.  I was diagnosed with melanoma in April of 2012.  Melanoma is the most serious form of skin cancer.  When found early, Melanoma is almost 100% curable.  When found later, it can metastasize to other organs and become more serious.  I quickly met with a dermatologist for a full body check to see if I had any other areas of concern.  Luckily, I did not; but, the dermatologist was concerned about the size and characteristics of my tumor.  I was referred to a melanoma specialist/surgeon in Indianapolis for removal of more tissue around the original tumor and removal/biopsy of the lymph node that the tumor drained into.  No cancer was found in the tissue around the tumor, but a small amount of cancer cells were found in the lymph node.  The next step was another surgery to remove all the lymph nodes in my left groin for biopsy.  Thankfully, no cancer was found in the remaining lymph nodes.  Because cancer cells were found in the sentinel lymph node, my cancer was labeled as stage III.  As a result of both surgeries, I was considered to be in remission. 
After recovering from the second surgery seven weeks later, I began seeing a physical therapist and an oncologist.  Having all of the lymph nodes removed left my leg subject to swelling and more susceptible to infection.  The physical therapist taught me how to massage my leg and lymph nodes to help my body move the lymph fluid through a different path.  She also showed me how to wrap my leg to keep swelling down by pushing fluid upward, and trouble signs to watch for.  After two months of physical therapy, I was measured for a compression garment, which I wear everyday.  Swelling is likely something I will have to deal with for a long time. 
Because my melanoma was stage III, my oncologist recommended that I start weekly injections of interferon to help build up my immune system and keep cancer cells at bay.  When interferon first began being used to treat melanoma, patients were admitted to the hospital and put in a semi-coma to make the patient more comfortable due to the severe side effects.  In recent years, the processing of interferon has changed and now patients can receive a weekly injection.  I received my first three injections in August at the highest recommended dosage along with a dozen ‘just in case’ medications to help with the side effects.  Those three weeks were the most difficult in my journey thus far.  Side effects included severe headaches, loss of appetite, severe body aches, fatigue, the rigors, and thinning hair.  There were days when my body hurt so bad that I didn’t want to move from the bed to the couch.  Due to my severe side effects, my oncologist gave me a “two-week vacation” from the interferon to allow my body to get back to normal.  When the injections started again in September, the dosage was cut in half.  I was able to handle the side effects at this lower dosage much better, and was able to return to work.  For four months, I received my weekly injections in the doctor’s office.  In January of this year, I began giving myself the injections at home.  This was a huge step forward for me, because I wasn’t sure I could give myself an injection.  The injections have become a routine part of my week.  The plan is to continue weekly injections for five years. 
Cancer has taught me that I have a lot to be thankful for.  My friends, family, co-workers, and members of my church have been very kind and supportive over the past year.  I deeply appreciate the knowledge, skills, and compassion of all healthcare professionals I have met.  I am very lucky to work for an employer with good benefits and insurance. 
I attend the Benton County Cancer Support Group meetings each month, and the survivorship meetings held by the Lafayette Cancer Care team.  These meetings have provided me with information on diet and nutrition, physical exercise, management of side effects, and much more.  The Benton County Support group meets the last Monday of each month at 7pm at the Otterbein United Methodist Church.  We would love to have any survivors or caregivers attend. 
In closing, I would like to leave you with some advice: 
1.     Always use broad spectrum sunscreen with at least SPF 30 when in the sun,
2.     Wear protective clothing:  long-sleeved shirts, pants, wide-brimmed hats, and sunglasses,
3.     Avoid the mid-day sun and tanning beds. 
4.     Be aware of moles and the ABCDE’s.  If you have a mole or other spot that you’re concerned about, have it checked out.  Don’t procrastinate. 

Thank you for listening to me ramble!  I wish you all good health. 











Tuesday, July 9, 2013

July 9, 2013

Whew! Summer is flying by WAY too fast for me. It's been such a weird weather summer for sure, cold and rainy. With that being said you can well imagine what happened at our Benton County Relay For Life on June 28th...you guessed it, RAIN!!!

At 7pm sharp driving rain and fierce wind kicked off our Relay experience. The fellas at our campsite really "took one for the team" by standing in the rain to hold down tents and keep us girls relatively dry. Team Camping Out For a Cure managed to fair pretty well. We had almost an hour delay but God rewarded our patience with a gorgeous double rainbow. A fellow survivor Tracey said it best, "A perfect way to signify the cancer journey. Learning to dance in the rain and then be able to see the rainbow that it produces. God is good!!! Relay for Life Benton County."


Family and friends stuck it out and helped us walk up through closing ceremonies at 7am. Our team did s'mores as survivor gifts and sold s'mores at our campsite as our fundraiser. It's hard to tell but a friend made a cool box that held sterno cans so marshmallows could be roasted and s'mores made right at our campsite. Our team was awarded most creative fundraiser!!! Whoot! Whoot!




Our decorations took a hit but ended up cute none the less. Unfortunately I don't have a good picture of our completed campfire. We got tons of compliments. Thanks to the brainstorming of some of the after prom gals we had great ideas for decorating.


Dani, one of my other daughters :)




It's important to add humor somewhere to the event so one of the favorite festivities of the evening is the Miss Relay contest. Each team is encouraged to choose a fella who will dress up as a queen contestant and spend one hour strutting his stuff to raise money for his team. My brother-in-law Joe was recruited to represent Camping Out For A Cure as "Josephina". As you can see he took his role very seriously!  Kinsey and his wife Cara outfitted him in a very figure flattering gown, fish net stockings, and high heels. Besides the dress my main contribution...well ya just never know when those old prosthesis will come in handy!!! 



"Josephina" and Grandpa Deno



"Josephina" wins the title of Miss Relay 2013 by raising $1295!!!! And yes, this earned her a front page photo in our local Benton Review! 


My two favorite parts of Relay are the survivor lap and the luminaria ceremony/slide show. The first lap of the event is walked by survivors and the second by survivors and their caretakers/family members. It is so awesome to honor those who have fought and won!!! Of course it has extra special meaning now that I am a third generation survivor. 



Dad, me, and Deb a friend from church


Dad, Monica (my cousin or AKA my "big sister") and my sister Kristin-just a few of my faithful supporters.


Two of my best friends Kathy and Lana


Happy Campers!

We couldn't be happier with our first year as a team. Our fundraising goal was $1000 and at last total we had raised over $3100! A HUGE thank you to all who supported our team with creative ideas, props, financial donations, and by coming out to walk. Because of your generosity team Camping Out For A Cure is able to help in


See ya next year!!!


Sunday, June 23, 2013

Saturday, June 22, 2013

We just returned from 5 days at Dale Hollow Lake in Kentucky/Tennessee. What a lovely way to relax with friends and family. The temperature was perfect and the water temperature of the lake was in the 80's. We rented two houseboats and spent our time with three other families and a couple of extra tag along kiddos that we refer to as some of our other "daughters'.  A good time was had by all!





Since summer has just officially begun it was my first time to try water sports since my surgeries. When I was weighing the pros and cons of reconstruction one big question I had for my doctor was if I would still be able to water ski.  My concern was the chest wall muscles were moved for the implants so I didn't know if there would be a chance of damaging them if I skied or tubed.  I don't do anything fancy or daring, just enjoy the sports and usually only get a few times a year on the water. Much to my surprise I had no issues at all. In fact I was not even as sore as I usually am the first time out. I didn't get to tube but hope to try that out later this summer. I think my muscles will do OK but not sure how laying on my chest/belly flopping around on the tube will feel on the implants. Just laying on my tummy in bed is less than comfortable so time will tell.

Since returning home I've been hitting it hard getting ready for our local Relay for Life of Benton County. This Friday our team "Camping Out For a Cure" will join several other teams at our local high school to raise funds for cancer research and treatment. I'm especially looking forward to the luminaria ceremony. It is a beautiful, peaceful walk in the darkness with only the luminaria lining the track. Laps are walked to remember those who have passed and to honor the fighters and survivors. The laps are followed by a slideshow of those being honored and remembered. It is very moving! If you wish to walk with our team this coming Friday, June 28th at Benton Central High School or you would like to make a donation or purchase a luminaria simply click on the link below. Our team is also collecting canned food items. These will be used to weight down the luminaria bags and then will be donated to a food bank to help the needy in our community.We would love to have you join us in raising money so we can "Celebrate S'more Birthdays!"

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?fr_id=50166&pg=team&team_id=1358167

Come on out and join the fun!!!!

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Most folks don't realize that today is National Cancer Survivors Day! It seems like a good day to be thankful, to reflect, and to celebrate. I know way too many people who have had cancer and fortunately many have beat it! The crazy thing is that most who I know have been diagnosed just in this past year. It seems to be an epidemic of sorts. I still take time to thank God for making my path relatively easy and for letting me be able to get my life back to normal. Sure I still have scars, sure they will be there for the rest of my life, but it certainly beats the alternative! Congrats to all my friends and family who have kicked cancer!  Best wishes to those who are awaiting test results, currently receiving treatments, and who have follow up exams scheduled.




Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

So, do you all remember me posting along the way some tidbits about someone I referred to as "Bubbles"? Well "Bubbles" is my cousin Mike's wife Roberta, or Bert as we all know her. You may or may not remember that she is a three time cancer survivor and has been so very helpful to me along my cancer journey. Well not long ago Bert and her doctor were featured on an Indianapolis TV station newscast sharing her story and trying to educate others on the BRCA genetic testing and it's significance. Bert has enlightened me a lot about carrying "the gene" as BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 genes have come to be known.

Bert's story is so fascinating to me but it's really interesting because it's cousins in her family who are linked. Bert and I are not blood, I am a cousin to her husband. However it's our side that has all the cousins with cancer plus one aunt. As my doctor explained, there are only two genes discovered. Scientists are certain there are more, and it's quite possible my family has a gene that is yet to be discovered.

I was also further educated when I met a gal in my plastic surgeon's office who shared her very courageous story about carrying one of the BRAC genes. She is referred to as a young "pre-vivor."  Pre-vivors are women who carry one of the genes and opt to take very aggressive measures to prevent forms of female cancer before they happen, therefore pre-vivors and not survivors.  Many of them have their children and then have all female organs removed in hopes of greatly decreasing or even completely preventing cancer all together. Now that takes courage and strength!

If you would like to hear Bert's story, AKA "Bubbles" please click on the link below. Thanks Bert for going public with your battle and helping to spread the word!

http://www.theindychannel.com/lifestyle/health/woman-battling-breast-cancer-learns-of-family-risk-through-genetic-testing

Monday, May 13, 2013

Monday, May 13, 2013

I opened my email today and found a request from a blogger friend. Remember my guest blogger Cameron Von St. James? Well he contacted me again but this time asking if I would be willing to share with all of you the short video his wife Heather and their family made. Of course I was thrilled! So here it is! Please take a moment to check out their personal story at www.mesothelioma.com/heather

Thank you again Cameron for keeping me posted. It is so awesome to see Heather healthy and see your daughter growing into a beautiful young lady!

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Yesterday was a follow up appointment with my plastic surgeon. All looks great!  We briefly discussed if I planned to add the finishing touches (nipples and tattoo). My answer was a firm no!  That was one thing that Brad and I agreed on immediately at the appointment where we discussed the reconstruction process. He and I had almost no discussion. We simply walked out of the office, looked at each other and said "no!"  I just didn't do well looking at all those photos of reconstructed nipples, not to mention it is another surgery and another chance for infection. Afterall, if I have nipples they have to be covered up. Right now, if I really don't want to wear a bra I don't have to and there is no harm done. There is no feeling in a reconstructed nipple so there is no benefit there. 

We did discuss the sunken/concave area in my chest wall around the left breast. My plastic surgeon explained that since that was my cancer side the general surgeon would have taken as much tissue as possible therefore leaving the skin flap thinner there. Lipo injections can be done to fill in that area. Again, my answer was a firm "no!"  I can't fathom any kind of surgery at this point and I don't want to risk any chance of infection. If I would have an infection issue now it could mean starting at square one and most likely not getting nearly as good of an end result as what I have now. I have no desire to take that risk. The plan is a one year follow up appointment unless I encounter any kind of issue.

My appointment ended on a very high note as the receptionist commented on my weight loss and told me I looked great! That was certainly a bright spot in my day! So nice to receive a compliment once in awhile. 

Tonight I attended a Relay for Life meeting. I have participated in Relay before but never been a team captain. I am hoping to do some successful fundraising but am kind of lagging behind after taking on the After Prom project for Brody's Junior class. 

If you or anyone you know has a cancer diagnosis there is a great resource available through the American Cancer Society. If you simply call 1-800-227-2345 and ask for a Personal Health Manager they will mail out a kit designed to help organize your health care information. The best part is it's free! The ACS has a whole host of services available to cancer patients and their families. If you or someone you know has a need please call the toll free number with any questions you may have. 

I can't believe it's May already! I'd like to take a minute to wish all the teachers happy teacher appreciation week and the nurses a happy nurses's week!  And of course a shout out to all you moms..Happy Mother's Day!





Saturday, May 4, 2013

Saturday, May 4, 2013





Wow!  Since I've been MIA for a month I guess it's time to do some catching up.  First I need to wish a double Happy Birthday to my Dad who turned 69 today and also to our lovely daughter Kinsey who turned 20. Where does the time go???





One year, one month, and one day ago on April 3rd, 2012, I had my bilateral mastectomies. That date marked a transformation for me both physically and mentally. It was from that point that I was no longer a cancer patient but instead was considered a "survivor".  That sounded to me like a great reason to party! There had been plenty of attention placed on me for over a year so instead of focusing on that I decided this party could be a celebration focusing on thanks.  The only daunting task was to decide who to invite. Clearly I couldn't accommodate everyone who had wished me well so I decided to choose those who were there from start to finish, through thick and thin. 

After attempting to transform our unfinished basement into a "pink" zone we all gathered there on April 13th for some wine, appetizers, and some extra special thank yous.  With Brad's help preparing munchies and Kinsey's help with the decorating, it was a fun evening shared with about 35 of the most awesome women I know! It was a mixed bunch-some family, all friends. There were people I see everyday and others I don't see real often like my hairdresser and our vet. Even Grandma was there in spirit. Apparently I chose the perfect date because almost everyone I invited was able to attend. We had a great time just catching up, relaxing, and as you can imagine sharing a few tears.



There are so many things I have learned through this breast cancer journey. First of course is the power of prayer. There were people praying that I don't know and have never even met, some near, some far, some I have not seen or spoken with in years. That alone is empowering. Secondly I learned that people don' t have to do big things because the little things mean just as much. There were those who brought meals, one who mowed our yard, some who sent flowers or delivered presents and even those who offered monetary support knowing how tight things got with me off work and so many medical bills.  Many in the room had simply checked in time and time again with a visit, a call, a text, Face Book message or an email. As I explained they had no idea how much regular contact meant. It's funny how God works. I never had too many visitors or too many calls, they were instead perfectly spaced to fill in the dull or down moments. They couldn't have been scheduled and turned out any more therapeutic.

As you can imagine there wasn't time to speak about everyone or how each had touched my life. Instead I spoke in generalizations. There were however three women I felt I had to speak about individually. First was my Grandma Budreau. Although she was in the nursing home and no longer able to do the extras she would have in the past, her role was praying the rosary. Even as her body failed she never once forgot to ask how I was or to tell me she was praying. Since she has passed I placed an angel she gave me on the table and tied some pink balloons to it. She was certainly there in spirit.  Second was my cousin Monica, aka my "big sister". She had suffered a stroke at age 46. It was her undying faith, her strength and courage that so many times gave me the motivation to "keep on keeping on". Lastly of course was my sister, Kristin. She attended appointments, organized food, and was my private duty nurse. I had to write out my thoughts and still couldn't communicate them all as effectively as I would have liked to. Before I was done there was hardly a dry eye in the room.


I had plenty of pink- small party favors and pink flowers, pink cupcakes with breast cancer liners, cancer ribbon pasta salad, and even pink bracelets available for the younger girls who joined me. Somehow I even  managed to find a bottle of wine with a tag supporting the cause.

Although this party was about thanking my girlfriends some of them still felt the need to bring something special for me. Spoiled once again! Little did they know that there mere presence was present enough!






A dear friend had burned a very moving and empowering CD for me even before I was diagnosed. She had no idea how many times I would listen to it throughout the course of my journey. The last song is called "Thanks". I really wanted to play it after I was done addressing the group. However, I knew that they like me didn't want to spend their entire evening in tears. After all this was a PARTAAAAY!!!!! So instead I will post the video here. It pretty much sums up how I feel about all the love and support that has been shown to me and my family. It brings tears to my eyes every time I listen. I truly have the best family and friends anyone could every ask for! 

Monday, March 25, 2013

Monday, March 25, 2013

One week ago today a very special angel entered the gates of Heaven.  We called her Grandma Betty.  Grandma turned 95 just 8 days before, but a celebration was not meant to be. Instead, just before her birthday, she announced she was ready to go to be with the Lord and all her deceased family members.  From that time on family held a constant vigil by her bed tending to her every need. I was so very proud of my dad for his strength and devotion. He had faithfully gone to visit Grandma twice a day daily during her years in the nursing home. Over the winter months, as she began failing, he rode each trip in the ambulance with her and spent many hours with her at the hospital. Once she decided it was her time he and his siblings took turns by her side around the clock.

Grandma had a long, vibrant life filled with her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and even a few great greats. She was so proud of each and every one and always had time to stop and brag about their latest endeavors and accomplishments. She was such a wonderful role model- loving wife, mother, grandmother.  And an awesome cook for sure! I always remember the homemade baked macaroni and homemade ice cream at family gatherings. As our family grew to record numbers she decided to rent out the local private school gym and each Christmas she hosted a big party. We enjoyed delicious food, fellowship, basketball games, and of course presents.  She made sure that every single person had at least something small to open besides her monetary gift.  Mostly though, Grandma was a soldier of Christ. She faithfully attended daily Mass until she simply wasn't able, then attended weekly Mass at the nursing home. She devoted hours of her day to EWTN and simply adored a nun by the name of Mother Angelica. The one thing I will never forget about Grandma is her undying devotion to the Holy Rosary. She would say it faithfully every single day and usually multiple times a day, always letting family know she was praying it for all of us! When she was so frail and weak and could hardly speak it was her Rosary she requested.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer Grandma was one of my many prayer warriors. Every time I would visit she assured me she had already prayed that very day for me! She always remembered to ask how I was doing and when my next surgery was. And of course, as Grandmothers do, she told me to be careful and not to over do! There was a lot of comfort in knowing she had things under control even on the days I felt like I didn't.



                                                                 
                         One of the many Christmas celebrations in the school gym


 Great Grandchildren Colton, Kinsey, Brody, Cassidy 
(the only four grandchildren of my dad)
and Grandma Betty Budreau


My brother Kenny, me, my sister Kristin, and Grandma


My Dad, Step-mom Dianne, and Grandma 

Saying good-bye is always hard no matter how old, how sick, or how much someone is ready to leave this world. However I found comfort in knowing that Grandma got her wish to be with the Lord, her family members, and to finally be free of pain. Kinsey was able to help with the readings at her service and Brody was asked to be a pall bearer. So many of the great grandchildren were able to be a part of her celebration of life.  Thank you Grandma for all you did for me and my family, but most of all thanks for your many prayers and undying love for us. There is no doubt God is rewarding you now in Heaven!

With all my love,
Kim




Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

We had a late winter blast of some beautiful wet snow last night; the most we've had all winter! So glad to see the wonder it creates, especially today. I've been a little bit down thinking about how similar this spring has been to last. Thankfully it's going better for me but once again I am hearing of more and more women donning their pink boxing gloves.

My cousin just buried one of her best friends who lost a long battle with breast cancer. I never met her but feel as though I did from the lovely photos shared. She really left a legacy of her life and did something so awesome at her service. She helped plan out her service and certainly deviated from the norm. She had my cousin take family photos back in the summer. She stewed and stewed on what to order. As she lay in bed her final days she requested her family place a large canvas of their family photo near the bed for her to look at. At the service I'm told this photo was the focal point and the casket was actually off to the side. Then she saw to it that all guests were offered a daily devotional to take home-some for children some for adults. She truly wanted God and her family life to be her legacy. What an awesome idea!

Remember last Spring Break? I was awaiting surgery but while in Florida a good friend found out her mom had breast cancer. Well she is ready for her final step of reconstruction. You go girl!!!



Another local gal diagnosed about the same time as my friend's mom and I is really struggling in her battle. I pray for her often. It's so hard to understand how God decides what our journey will entail and where it will end. It breaks my heart that she is struggling so.

An old friend and prior boss has offered me support along the way. This time she asked a favor of me. One of her co-workers was just diagnosed with DCIS stage 0 just like me. She is seeing the same surgeon I did and asked if I would be willing to chat with her co-worker. Of course my response was ABSOLUTELY!!! My new "bosom buddy" gave  me a ring on the weekend and we had a nice long chat. She thanked me several times and we agreed to keep in touch through her journey. It was tough at first because I could really sense the fear in her voice. She too is a nurse so understands the process. However, having a medical background doesn't mean it's any less stressful or frightening. She assured me she has great support. We plan to meet for lunch one day when she has more information about her treatment plans and I may try to line up another friend who I just did lunch with to join us. The sisterhood of survivors is a Godsend!

I'm seriously thinking about walking in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Indy this spring. Kinsey is on board to join me so maybe that will be my next goal. I need to ramp up my exercise a bit but would just walk in the walk and not the competitive part. Hmmm, food for thought!

I'll end today with an uplifting thought for all my "Bosom Buddies" on their journeys:


Thursday, February 28, 2013

Thursday, February 28, 2013

So a couple weeks ago I got an email from one of my blog followers. He explained that his wife had battled mesothelioma several years ago so he knew first hand the struggles one faces as they try to be a caregiver to a loved one.  Cameron asked if I would be open to him writing a short article about his experiences that I could then post on my blog. Needless to say I was delighted!

Below is what Cameron sent. I have only quickly checked out his blog, but it's clear he is on a real mission to share his story and do what he can to make a difference. I posted the link at the end of his article and would encourage you to check it out!!! Thank you Cameron for taking a moment to contact me and for sharing your passion about helping families and caregivers through their experiences and emotions as they offer support on a cancer journey. Maybe together we CAN make a difference!


Caregiving  For a Cancer Patient
On November 21, 2005 my wife Heather was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma, a form of cancer that would put us on the battlefield for the next several years as we tried to overcome it. To Heather, her diagnosis was so frightening that she couldn’t say anything after the doctor told her the diagnosis. The news came just three months after one of the happiest moments of our lives, the birth of our first and only child, Lily.
The doctor was reading off our options for treatment and telling us where we could go to get help. It was either a local hospital, a regional hospital further away, a treatment center in Boston, where we could see a renowned mesothelioma specialist named Dr. Sugarbaker.  I just wanted to get Heather the very best treatment available. I turned to the doctor and said, “Get us to Boston!”
The next few months were a whirlwind of doctor’s appointments, traveling to and from Boston, and handling Heather’s condition as best as possible. I learned to be her constant caretaker, even as I had to work a full-time job and raise our infant daughter. The pressures of being a new father, a full time caregiver and the sole provider for my family were enormous, and I frequently found myself overwhelmed and breaking down under the responsibility.
There were moments during Heather’s illness where I would go off by myself to cry. I didn’t know how to handle what was happening around me.  Medical bills steadily piled up and I feared we wouldn’t be able to pay them all.  I constantly feared that I would lose my wife and be left a poor, widowed single father. I cried to myself though, never letting Heather see my moments of weakness. In Heather’s condition she wasn’t in any shape to deal with these things I kept them hidden from her as much as I could. It was her health that was first in our lives. She HAD to beat cancer!
I learned several lessons as a caregiver that helped me make it through. First and foremost, I learned to let go of my pride and ask for help. Our friends and family came to our aid in our darkest time, providing everything from a shoulder to cry on, to desperately needed financial assistance. I learned to let myself be weak at times.  Bad days are inevitable in a situation like this and you can’t fight them. Let them happen, but never let yourself give up hope. Hope is your greatest weapon in this fight.
Over the following months, Heather would undergo extensive and difficult treatment for mesothelioma. Against all odds, with the help and support of our loving community and the care of our incredible doctors, Heather was able to beat mesothelioma, a rare feat accomplished by far too few. Today, over seven years since her diagnosis, she is healthy and cancer free.
Caring for someone with cancer requires a total commitment, a strong will, and a strong heart. I didn’t start the journey with those things, but now that Heather is cancer free and watching our daughter grow up, I am proud to say that I have grown as a person. I hope that by sharing our story of success over this ugly cancer I can help another currently in their own battle today.

Cameron Von St. James 
http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/cameron/

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Been a series of crummy dreary days here. Stomach flu over the weekend, the allergic reaction to my eye lids persists and this week progressed under my eyes so yet another doctor visit. Yes, it 's safe to say I look a good 20 years older than my age because of the dry skin and wrinkling it's caused. And this hormonal weather is really something else. Despite all that we are trying to stay positive and look forward to spring.

We've really tried to focus on making more time to spend together. We spent a big day out of town at the Boat Sport and Travel show recently. So much fun!  Made it home in time to watch our very talented niece in a basketball tourney. Last night I once again offered for Brad to join me at the cancer support group meeting. After declining in the past this time he said yes! The topic was stress and our guest speaker showed us about 10 tools to help us relax-meditation, concentration, and stretching. I found it very helpful. It was one of our best attended meetings so far. My take was the techniques were very helpful to Brad. However when we left he said they didn't do a thing for him. I have a feeling he would say a cold beer and the Lazy Boy would have worked better. :) At any rate I was thrilled he joined me and one of the other gals really gave him kudos for being there.

It was a big night for one friend as she openly addressed the stage of her cancer and some of her plans. I'm quite sure it was a difficult thing to do and it made me so sad knowing her prognosis is not the same as for many of us. I think it was good for Brad to be surrounded by 8 of us at differing stages of the disease and treatment process. I'm certain it was completely out of his comfort zone though so simply attending was a big thing for him. I can't tell you how important it was for me. I certainly don't expect him to attend regularly but certain topics are much more geared towards family and care givers.

It's very exciting to talk about some of our upcoming speakers, and we are planning to recognize two months this spring that are dedicated to cancer awareness. Before we know it Relay For Life will be upon us. I have officially registered my team Camping Out for a Cure. That's as far as I've gotten so far. Really looking forward to that event.

Had lunch yesterday with an old friend and co-worker. We have been on our journeys together this past year. It was a wonderful time catching up and swapping stories. She really looks great! It's always good to talk with those who know first hand what the experience is really all about because they truly understand all aspects of the process and can relate to your experiences and feelings. Just good ole' "girl chat"!