Through Thick and Thin

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

July 25, 2012

Got my appointment out of the way Friday with my migraine doctor. He increased my medicine so we'll see if that helps. So far no improvement. I told him I was sure it was stress related. I really hate when doctors blame things on stress but this is one time that it seems a very fair diagnosis. I explained what all had transpired since my last visit 6 months ago and even he was taken aback.

Last weekend did prove to be pretty relaxing. A bit cooler temps and a camping trip with some great old friends. My sisters boat was a welcomed treat as we hung out on the water for hours and hours. Brody took a friend and all four boys in the group had a great time! We were able to have a small fire and temps cooled so it was perfect camping/boating weather. Ahhhh!

Monday was the July support group meeting. My friend from church joined us and was very excited to announce she would be returning to work this week. She looked awesome!  A dietitian was our guest and  focused on healthy eating and introduced us to the newest approach. Instead of the food pyramid the plate is the newest teaching tool. It seems an easy concept, especially for children to better comprehend balanced eating. She showed us a divided, colorful plate with areas sectioned off showing portion sizes for fruits, veggies, etc.We did some fun activities and our fearless leader made us some delicious strawberry smoothies!!! I'm really enjoying this group :)

Next week will be a big one. Monday I see the plastic surgeon. Brad surprised me by coming home from work and actually offering to discuss reconstruction. I was in shock as this was a first for him. The general consensus between us was we neither know what to think. I'm still very concerned about infection risks due to my history. Part of me would like to try it but I'm just so worried. I think at this point it's going to depend how well the surgeon can sell the idea! LOL  We just need to meet with him and review everything now with a clearer mind knowing I am cured.

Wednesday I am delighted to say I have a colonoscopy. I've had lots of questions as to why. There are several reasons:
-my dad had colon cancer therefore my screenings started at 40 instead of the recommended 50
-it's been five years since my last one
-I am now a cancer survivor and colon and breast cancer do show some correlation
-I have a first cousin (maternal side) who had colon cancer at 48- along with all the breast cancer on that side of the family
-I have lots of bowel issues ( I know, I know, too much information! )
-my oncologist suggested I have one due to all the above

Yippy Skippy!  I can hardly wait!  Hopefully everything comes out OK! haha


Thursday, July 19, 2012

July 19, 2012

Summer time.  Normally a fun, relaxing, family fun time. Just not feeling it this year. The heat has just been exhausting to me. I LOVE being outside but it's simply been too miserable. We normally enjoy sitting around a fire and camping but the burn bans have limited that. Not to mention most of the time it's been way too hot to enjoy a fire anyway. My upcoming procedures are weighing on my mind and of course reconstruction is still looming. It seems the biggest downer is the crappy news that we just keep getting about family and friends.

This week it was that a friend from church was diagnosed with melanoma. My heart is breaking for her. We  had a chance to chat some and I just hate hearing what she is going through. Everyone knows a cancer diagnosis is stressful and frightening but until you have actually heard those words, "You have cancer"  I just don't think you can truly comprehend what it's like to walk in those shoes.  She was aware of the support group and I'm hoping she will join us at the next meeting on Monday. We both agreed that talking about the journey is very healing. After our initial chat I shed a few tears for her. Later I started digging through my books and there are a couple I will offer  her that were not breast cancer specific. In the meantime I'm praying and of course asking for your prayers for her as well!

Tomorrow I see my migraine doctor. Good thing because after my headaches seeming to be controlled they have been back with a vengeance.  I'm quite sure it's stress related. Graduation was a wonderful distraction  but now that it's behind us it's just all stressful things approaching. In the afternoon we are heading out for our second weekend this summer of camping. My sister has loaned us her boat and I am hoping for some great Rand R on the water. Supposedly the recent storms are to bring slightly cooler temps so maybe we can go and de-stress a bit. Hoping so because I REALLY need it!

Monday, July 9, 2012

Monday, July 9, 2012

Due to my significant family history of skin cancer, my Grandma and my dad, I have been having full body skin/mole checks for several years.  And let me tell you, they are full body!  Fortunately the new little areas I have noticed are all nothing to worry about. However there is one area on my back that my doctor is concerned with and really wants it removed. A few years ago she did a scraping of a suspicious area and it turned out fine. This will be an actual excision/in office surgery. She has agreed to wait until September so I can get through the summer months without stitches in my back so that was good. I'd like to try to enjoy a couple more trips to the lake before then.

After I got home I decided to make the call to get my colonoscopy scheduled as well. The gal in scheduling was tied up so hopefully I can get that booked tomorrow. That should then take care of all the preventative procedures I should need until my yearly ob/gyn visit which I think is not due til December. Just really wanting to get all this "to do" stuff crossed off my list. Not gonna lie I am beyond sick of doctor visits and know I have two more yet this month.

It was quite frightening talking with my dermatologist today. She was asking about my breast cancer and reconstruction. She strongly suggested that no matter what I decide that I get all loose ends tied up within two years thanks to the advent of socialized medicine that will gradually be being implemented. She is not happy about the changes our lovely government has brought about and stressed things will become much more difficult and insurance will likely no longer pay for many things which it does now. That is all so frustrating to me as a nurse and as a patient.

My dad has a history of two types of skin cancer and colon cancer. One of his doctors ordered a PET scan just to thoroughly check things out due to his age and huge cancer history. His insurance wouldn't pay it. Fortunately he is vet so he tried the VA. They were glad to take care of it and I'm happy to report he got a clean bill of health.  It's miserable when your doctor wants something done, your insurance won't pay, and you can't afford to foot 100% of the bill so you sit and worry yourself to death. So glad that it worked out for my dad!

Don't forget to book your yearly physicals, a colonoscopy if you are 50 or older (younger if you have a family history), and a full body skin cancer evaluation. All such easy things to do and great for early detection of potential problems!

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Good grief it's been hotter than a blow torch here in the Hoosier state. So what's a great thing to do when it's blistering hot and there's a burn ban due to drought?  Well go camping of course!!!  At least we choose a campground with a lake. The DNR was  feeling generous and let campers light a fire for cooking so we not only enjoyed the water but some delicious wings, ribs, and pork. Mmm, mmm, good!

After I don't know how many issues getting there, then camper and boat issues, great friends and family lightened  things up and we managed to have fun. Our good friends had a foreign exchange student and she had returned for a visit so we just had to all get together and celebrate.  Poor Marie, it was 65 back home in Denmark and we brought her to 107 temps! It was so great to see her and get a bunch of the girls together.

Well let me tell ya, these falsies are quite hot in these temps. The real things are hot too but these are like added insulation. Kinsey just kept telling me to not worry about it and not wear them. Finally she convinced me and I just couldn't do it anymore, they had to come out. No one pulled me aside and told me I looked horrible so I rolled with it and was much more comfortable. Besides, if they did I was just going to blame Kinsey and say "She told me to!"  Haha

My new swimsuit top came at the last minute and was comfortable enough. The only problem is it's lack of support. I started out perky but that didn't last. It's just a normal swim suit with a normal suit bra built in but there is a slit to slide in the silicone forms. I can't believe I paid $58 for just the top and there's no extra support at all. Rather disappointing.  I will say though, we all got a good laugh when everyone hopped out of boats for a swim and I pointed out that my "flotation devices" were working just fine! Everyone cracked up! The top is of course pretty high cut, especially under the arms. That's intentional of course to help hide scars from lymph node dissections. I don't know if this heat and these swimming experiences are helping me make a reconstruction decision or not. I almost feel more confused. I might just lose my mind before this is said and done!!!  Brad and a friend offered to set up a "focus group" on Face Book and take votes on new girls for me thinking maybe that would help. Gee thanks fellas, I'm sure it would! :)




 Seriously though, the only resource I had for mastectomy swimsuits was through JC Penney and the Jodee company. The website is www.jcpenney-jodee.com   I'm sure there are plenty more places on the web but I had picked up a mini catalog at Penney's and I was in a hurry so it worked.
Monday, July 2, 2012

While working one of my odd jobs I got a phone call from someone- I will just call her Bubbles-one because she is a very bubbly outgoing person, and two because both her "bubbles" have been lost to breast cancer. Since she likes to find humor in her situation I'm sure she won't mind!  She had breast cancer nearly 20 years ago and underwent treatments at that time. Not long before my diagnosis she found out she had cancer in the remaining breast. This time early detection spared her from chemo and radiation. In the midst of her workup it was determined she carried one of the BRCA genes. This greatly complicated things as besides a mastectomy she would need to have the ovaries removed.( Remember if carrying the BRCA gene most doctors suggest this surgery to help prevent ovarian cancer.) Both surgeries went well and this time around she decided to reconstruct. Not long ago I called checking in on her but had to just leave a message. She returned my call today.

It seems a dark cloud just keeps hanging over us. You know, just the stupid little stuff that adds up and becomes annoying, then the bigger things. The last two weeks it just hasn't stopped. Today's news broke the storm clouds loose. The pathology from her surgery showed cancer in the Fallopian tube.  Really??? Can't this poor dear get a break?!!! I tried so hard to fight back the tears. Good thing we were on the phone because I didn't want her to know I was sobbing, not that that is a bad thing but because she had been through the tears and now was very upbeat. Fortunately she had a lot of talking to do so I kinda covered the phone and wiped my tears hoping she couldn't hear me. My heart was broken for her. Now she starts a whole new work up and has set yet another surgery date, this time to remove the rest of the female parts. Already she knows she needs chemo but until surgery is complete the doctors won't be able to stage the cancer.

This woman truly amazes me. So little but mighty!  I just want for half her strength and courage. Having cancer not once, not twice, but three times...now that stinks!!!  But in her true optimistic fashion she has found a silver lining. Had she not had a recent breast cancer she may have not been tested for the BRCA gene. Had she not been tested she would still have her ovaries and tubes and the cancer would be continuing to grow. Yep, that's a silver lining. Ovarian is one of the single most difficult cancers to detect and treat.

It seems now all I can really do is pray and ask all of you to keep Bubbles in your prayers as well. I don't really know how many my blog reaches but I know most of you are praying people and that means that her odds of beating cancer a third time are really good. So please join me in lifting up Bubbles in your prayers. I know she would greatly appreciate it!


Sunday, July 1, 2012



Friday, June 29, 2012

This was the 9th year for Relay for Life in our community and the turnout was wonderful! For those not familiar Relay for Life is a 12 hour fund raising event put on in many communities by the American Cancer Society and a host of local volunteers supporting cancer victims, their families and friends, and raises money to help find cures for this modern day plague. Teams are formed which then set up "campsites" for the night. There are various fundraising events such as competitions for best decorated campsite, a Relay Queen contest, talent show, a jail where bail must be earned to get out, carnivals, bake sales etc. Each team usually has some items or food for sale to help raise money. Pledges are solicited and a team member walks at all times. The event lasts from 7pm to 7am and the evening is full of structured activities for the old and young alike. It's a great family activity for a wonderful cause. Unfortunately the weather refused to co-operate so our event had to move from the track and field to our High School gyms. It was a bonus in the end as we had AC!!!






I have attended Relay at least twice before and both our kids have volunteered for several years.  I signed my Dad and Grandma up to walk in one of the earlier events together as survivors. This year it was my turn to walk the survivor lap.What an awe inspiring experience!

The emotions I experienced ran the gamut-sad that I had to experience cancer on such a personal level at a relatively young age, fearful for all those present who were currently fighting the fight, hurting for those there remembering their loved ones who had lost the fight, incredibly thankful that my treatment was brief and considered a cure, grateful that I was healthy enough to be able to participate, blessed that my journey was paved with support, overwhelmed looking at all the faces in the crowd knowing each and every one had been touched by this evil disease and had their own stories to tell.
Starting the survivor lap I was able to smile and feel proud that I have in fact beat the beast! Soon, as I passed by familiar faces along the path, I remembered I wasn't the only survivor, my family and friends were also survivors. Good family friends, friends of my kids, and old classmates of mine were scattered along the way offering hugs, high fives and kissing me as I passed by. One hopped out and gave me a balloon hat she had that she called my "halo". So very sweet! As we passed each "campsite" we were given survivor gifts with inspirational messages on each one. Just small tokens of motivation, strength and courage to help us keep keeping on. As I've said before, just because a patient is considered cured they still bear the physical and emotional scars and nothing will ever take those away. The love and support you feel during that walk is unbelievably powerful. I tried to fight back the tears but eventually I couldn't.


At various points during the evening short presentations are made by survivors sharing their stories, families sharing their losses, and those generally affected by cancer. At dark the luminary ceremony takes place. Volunteers spell out encouraging words such as HOPE and CURE with lighted paper bags. Next the track is lined with bags honoring those fighting, survivors, and those who lost their battles. Everyone present lines the path and becomes completely silent as they walk a lap represented by each bag.  For our Relay beautiful bagpipes played Amazing Grace. Next a power point presentation remembered and honored patients past and present. The entire gym was moved to tears as loved ones were honored for their amazing strength and courage.




I have found that four faiths are crucial to recovery from serious illness:faith in oneself, ones doctor, ones treatment, and ones spiritual faith.
Bernie S. Siegel MD



















For anyone who has never experienced Relay I would strongly encourage you to give it a try. It is very powerful and incredibly healing. Even in our small community there were names and faces not familiar. One thing was certain, were were all brothers and sisters in the fight against the evil beast!!! Knowing we were all working together by either donating time or money was incredibly uplifting knowing we were doing our part to help prevent other families from hearing those horrifying words, "You have cancer."