School is back in session and summer is nearly over. That's really a bummer to me because it was the first one in several years that we weren't feeling burdened with something major in our lives. After my last surgery I found myself struggling with left over feelings about my cancer journey. It seemed that since I was no longer preoccupied with surgeries, doctor appointments, dressing changes etc. I finally had time to just reflect on where I had been and where I was headed. There are some things that we can change about ourselves and our relationships, other paths we can choose, and of course there are things that can't be changed. I talked to Brad about some of my thoughts and asked if he would be willing to do some counseling with me. He declined. After much consideration I decided to go on my own. It seemed I needed help figuring out where my path was headed. Counseling was sort of a gift I gave myself. Our bodies work so hard to recover from the pain and physical aspects of an illness that sometimes we forget that our minds need tended to as well. Our local cancer support group is awesome for this, however I just felt I needed more.
Although family and close friends had offered their suggestions, speaking to a neutral person seemed to fit the bill for me. First was the confirmation that my family and I had been through a tremendous amount of stress related to health issues in a period of about five years-Brad's dad and my cousin both suffering serious strokes, my dad a massive heart attack, a hysterectomy for me, a mini-stroke for Brad, Kinsey a broken leg and surgery, sinus surgery for me, 10 months of severe debilitating headaches for Kinsey, gallbladder surgery and finally breast cancer for me. I was able to openly talk about the stress of medical bills, the toll it takes on a family when one member is down, and the frustrations of expectations in relationships. Whew! Just thinking about it all is exhausting!!! Sometimes it is good to hear that the feelings experienced are totally normal. It was also very helpful to have someone tell me to continue to stay strong in the face of all opposition and adversity and that sharing my story is very comforting as well as therapeutic. My oncologist encourages a holistic approach and she too confirmed therapeutic effects of the above, combined with a healthy diet and exercise.
Another topic I felt I needed to "get off my chest" (haha) had to do with my struggles with reconstruction. So many have asked me if I am happy with my decision to go through with it. Honestly, it was until today that I could completely say YES! As I was doing housework and thinking over the process today was the first time I could say I am happy with my decision. It was a horribly difficult one for me due to fear of infection and because I felt so much pressure from others that it was the choice I should make. My doctor was so reserved about it and made it very clear that reconstruction was my decision to make and only mine. I am very grateful to him for that opinion and guidance. Discussing those struggles, although they were behind me, was incredibly helpful and healing!
I have referenced it before but taking care of our minds and emotions is such a huge aspect to our health and well being. It doesn't matter what stage of life we are in or what we are facing, many of us could probably use a good dose of holistic health care. There are many days where something about my journey crosses my mind. Sometimes I still wish I had had a day where I just sat and cried and cried, just as an all out sort of cleansing system I guess. That hasn't happened. Talking to a neutral person who I could pay to listen to me instead of feeling like I was burdening a friend or relative was just the prescription for me! That decision alone helped me to feel more at ease and to be able to enjoy some great summer time fun with friends and family.
No comments:
Post a Comment