Saturday, April 7, 2012

Sorry my posts are never posted on the day I type them. Just have to do them when I feel up to it. And invariably I type them up and tweak them a dozen times before posting :)

Slept fairly well last night. No more terrible burning at the drain sites, thank goodness!  Had a hard time with my shower this morning, a brief moment of tears. The new body image is going to take awhile to get used to. The first few times it didn't bother me too much, but for some reason it was harder today. Felt a bit nauseated when I looked at my chest. If you can imagine craters where breasts used to be, bruising becoming much more evident, two 6 inch long incisions with stitches and steri-strips, another under my arm about two inches long, and two lovely drains...well it isn't exactly a Picasso!

As mentioned before I asked the kids initially if they wanted to see the incisions. Brody opted yes, however I have not involved him in any of my personal care. Just think it's not in his comfort zone unless he is my only resource. However, for those who know Brody, he is an amazing kid who would do anything for anyone, even if it is an awkward moment with his mom. Heaven knows many of us have already been faced with caring for our parents and grandparents as they age and for many of them it's more comfortable for a family member to help them than a stranger, even if it is the opposite sex. We've told the kids this is good practice for when we get old-assuming we live to old age! :) Both kids seem to be handling all of this quite well and have been very helpful with anything I have needed. I do have to wonder what goes through Kinsey's mind. She is always the quiet one. She has been extremely helpful with the few times I have had wardrobe malfunctions, needed help pulling up my hair etc. She doesn't seem "grossed out" and doesn't get light headed. (Keep in mind this is my child who saw a photo of a friend's sliced finger posted on Face Book while she was modeling her prom dress to be hemmed. She had to sit down with a cold cloth and put her feet up) She does whatever I need and checks in on me when I'm in the shower.  It has to be an eye opening experience for a beautiful young girl who hasn't yet fully experienced all of womanhood to see these drastic changes taking place in her mom who is only 45.  I mean really, the plan was to one day help dear old mom retrieve her boobs from her knees and put them in a bra when she's 80. How quickly we abandoned that plan!

Kinsey's boyfriend was around a lot today. Just hung out keeping us company and brought some movies for me to watch. I did get a brief moment to ask him when she wasn't around if she was talking to him much about my surgery. He said he felt she was doing well but that she had taken a long while Friday night to talk to him about everything. He didn't elaborate, but I was just glad she was talking to someone. It has to be difficult. Brody hasn't talked a lot but is more open so I feel if he was having troubles handling things I would know it. For now I think we are all just taking one day at a time.