I didn't know my own strength...only Wednesday and a roller coaster of a week.
Monday night I attended the cancer support group. Due to the holiday season there were only two of us in attendance. I had thought about not going as I had to work all night but I am so glad I did. A local gal who works in the insurance industry spoke to us about insurance and billing. She herself lost a sister at age 14 to leukemia so although she hasn't had cancer she has been directly affected by it. It was a wonderful chat and a few tears were shed as she talked about her sister and we talked about the stress that so many medical bills brings upon a family. For us personally it really isn't the cancer alone, it's the 5 whole years of medical issues between us. Unfortunately we will be starting 2013 off in the same fashion as I have a new deductible and out of pocket to satisfy with this next surgery. That in and of itself is very depressing! At the end of the meeting I learned that a member of our group who has battled cancer multiple times has had yet another diagnosis, AND her husband is also battling skin cancer. That was a true downer! Please if you have a minute keep this family in your prayers. They have young children and should never have to experience the pain of all of this. It breaks my heart!
Tuesday was indeed a day to celebrate! It was my 46th birthday and after the way 2012 started out let's face it, there was a chance that this could have been my last birthday. Of all the women I know who have battled breast cancer, and all those fighting other cancers, it is very clear there are no givens on this journey. Some of us get lucky and others not so much. Each day is a gift and I'm so very thankful to be able to look forward to many more birthdays ahead.
I worked Monday night so slept part of my birthday away. Brody had a soccer game which I attended and from there I went to my weight watchers meeting. Was very proud of myself! I was just sure I had gained over the Thanksgiving holiday but instead I lost a pound. Not much but a small victory that I was quite proud of! There is a young gal in our group who is in college. She has a circle of friends that participate with her and are a huge support team and she has lost 80 pounds since May!!! Over the holiday she went home and visited her group there. They were in tears when they say her 80 pounds less! I admire her so much for taking her health so seriously and getting her weight under control while she is still young. She wasn't able to attend last night so her friends asked that we all write a note to her of encouragement or with suggestions how we are all going about our weight loss plan. Then this friend will make a book of the messages for her. What a super cool idea!!!
As we walked out I talked to these girls and offered another suggestion. I have a dear friend Miss Courtney. She also happens to be my Mary Kay consultant. After I placed my first order with Courtney she presented both Kinsey and I with a CD she had burned with songs that are so empowering and uplifting. Whenever I am having a down day I love to listen to this music. I told the girls about Miss Courtney and her CD and suggested that might also be a cool idea to help their friend as I'm sure she has to have days where she struggles and wants to call it quits. They were so excited and thanked me for sharing.
As I sat last night secretly hoping that my husband was planning to take me to dinner for my birthday I began to think more about the need for spouses to better understand. We have gone out alone a couple of times this entire year and only because I have planned it. There is such a huge need for that time! I just don't think that men in particular understand the importance or need of their outward support especially since it has been a major topic at our support group meetings. If only my nursing background included more psych classes! I would love to get something going from the very beginning for significant others, a resource for them to help in this area. Ideally a packet of information that includes information on the type of illness, resources to research it, local support groups, helpful tips, financial planning information etc. For so many they travel many parts of the journey feeling completely alone. Physical support may be present but the emotional is often lacking. It's not something that can be forced and it's often difficult to explain, it's just simply a need. Like we discussed Monday night, no one truly understands unless they have walked in those shoes. Maybe some day when all this is completely behind me I can network with some who are better versed in this area and try to find a way to make a difference.
So for today let me leave you with a song that Miss Courtney shared with me on her CD. It is in honor of those who feel alone on their journey and for those who are currently struggling with a health issue during this holiday season...may they find "their own strength!"
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