Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Oh what a relief it is!  After patiently stripping tubings and recording the output of both my drains for a week the time was finally right. Tonight  my sister ran over and removed them both. AHHHHH! I had noticed the one on the right beginning to get a little red on Monday so was keeping a close eye on it. I opted to leave it in one more day just to be sure. Irregardless of output it needed to come out today due to redness and tenderness. A couple of quick snips of the stitches and out they came. Brad and the kids were gone. Brad would have cared less as you will later hear, but the kids would have been fascinated to watch, as was my nephew. As I put out a towel and plopped myself on the bed making ready for this minor production I heard my nephew Colton say something that indicated he was curious. I said he could watch if he wanted. He came flying in my room. Little did he know he had a part-we needed the flashlight on his phone for that up close and personal visual. The first one came out so slick I didn't even know it. Colton got a little weak in the knees but did fine. Then I came up with the bright idea of him videoing it for my kids. What the heck, lets put this modern technology to use.  Kinsey had texted the day before wanting to know if they were coming out so I figured this way she wouldn't miss anything.  Colton could video it for them then they wouldn't miss a thing. Too funny. Of course I threatened him within an inch of his life that this video better not go viral!!! haha I was covered except my belly and the puncture site so no real big deal. Just wasn't really feeling the whole world needed to see that. The left one came out with a bit of resistance but not really any pain. It felt so good for the sites to be cleansed without the drain tubes in the way.

Brad and the kids got home and about the same time friends rolled in with our dinner for tonight. Of course the kids had already seen the video and so I showed them the drains. Brad's response was "You saved them?"  Well it's not like I saved them for days, they had only been out about 5 minutes!  The kids were surprised by how much tubing was actually inside of me versus how much they were able to see. It was a good learning experience. They thought Brad might be surprised. Of course being a kid who was raised literally on Old McDonald's Farm with every critter under the sun, it takes more than a couple of JP drains to get him rattled. He of course had to share that he's had his hand clear up a pigs uterus a number of times. Gee, and I thought I was teaching them something!

Brad then proceeded to share that a past co-worker came into work and expressed his concern about my recent surgery and was quite considerate and serious. Well, without any surprise to me or Brad his conversation quickly turned to how he would be more than happy to help Brad go shopping for a new bust line for me.  Oh boy did that cause some laughter between Brad and our friends who were here. The guys quickly decided maybe he should form a focus group on Face Book and see how many guys would sign up to help him do some shopping for his wife. Only men!!!  Although he's been very supportive and helpful we all know that eventually that is where the conversation is going to go.  Of course we were all dying laughing by the time the guys got done with their comments. My spirits have remained high but it's good to have a heavy duty laugh now and then.  Of course I had to burst his bubble by reminding him I haven't yet decided if I am going to reconstruct. OOOPS!

After all, this really is a very serious matter. It is cancer, it is evil, and it's what brought me to this point. I'm not a woman who has decided they want a new look. Not that that is a bad thing.  I know some women who have had breast augmentation just because and couldn't be happier with their decisions. In fact I am thankful that they have taken the time to talk to me about their process. Although a bit different than what I may face it is still helpful information to have. I still don't know for 100% certainty that I don't need at least a little bit of radiation or hormone therapy. Until I see the oncologist on Friday I won't know that for sure. The cancer is very real and a huge part of my decision to not immediately reconstruct. I saw a dire seriousness in fighting that evil first before taking the next step. Not that either route was wrong, this just felt like the right step for me. I can't stress enough that although I live among a huge crowd of jokesters they all do see the serious side and how it has impacted our life and the lives of those we know and love who have been affected. And I truly believe as a patient, as a nurse, as a wife and a mother that every decision a woman with breast cancer faces has to be a very individualized one. All of our situations are different, our thoughts and feelings are different. And it's not just us but our significant others facing the changes that are happening to our bodies.   I hope that every woman reading this who is either faced with a cancer diagnosis herself or who is walking beside someone else understands this.   All options should be weighed and the proper path chosen. I really appreciate a comment I remember my doctor making early on. "I don't only treat my patients, I treat their heads."  That is a very powerful statement!