Sunday, April 15, 2012

Cousins from both sides of the family stopped by yesterday for visits. Really an enjoyable day. Both brought me books that I think will come in quite handy for sharing in my posts. One is a cookbook of recipes compiled by women who have battled breast cancer, by lawmakers, and even some health care workers. Then there is Chicken Soup for the Surviving Soul. I'm hooked already. All of the contributors have either had a form of cancer or have been affected by it in some way. I have only read about 5 entries and am blown away!  The forward alone has some interesting thoughts worth sharing.

The very word cancer invokes many feelings-fear, anxiety, sadness and doom, just to name a few. It's easy to allow those feelings to become recurring thoughts in our minds and eventually those feelings play on our physical state as well.Cancer isn't an automatic death sentence, it's problem, a hurdle, a bump in the road. As Dr. Bernie S. Siegel says " Let problems in your life be your teachers. Always describe your difficulties with words that express your feelings. Then look at the things in your life that fit the description and heal them. Your life will improve and you will derive physical benefits." " Your thoughts create chemical changes in your body. What you experience and anticipate alter you. Spend a moment, laughing, loving, or playing and your body feels different than it does during moments of anxiety, despair or fear." So very true!!!

I guess maybe that's what I tried to do before my surgery. Breast cancer is a rather big problem. I needed to find a way to deal without dwelling and to control the things that I could. Once my diagnosis was public I was constantly flooded with questions. I didn't mind that at all, but for some that could have been overwhelming. For me talking helped me cope.  Documenting my journey helped me share my thoughts, feelings, and fears but has also helped me feel that my unfortunate experience could have a positive effect by helping educate others.

Then I tried to mix in other aspects such as humor. I realize there are some that read my posts and think "Did she really just share that?" Yes I did! It's me, it's my family, it's who we are and it's part of how we cope. As I read even the first few stories in my Chicken Soup book I hear how others used their nutty humor to deal, and I better understand that I'm not alone, not weird, but rather just doing something that helps makes me and my family more accepting of the journey we are facing.

Lastly I took some simple steps to pamper myself. My time was so consumed with appointments, research, our vacation etc that there was very little time for just me. Knowing my body image was about to forever change I decided I would go out on a limb, do something I'd never done. Yes, another shocker...I was almost exclusively a tidy whitey. White bras and panties plus the one set of formal black. About three weeks before surgery I decided what the  heck, I'm going to do something different. I went shopping and purchased some colorful underwear, pinks, oranges, royal blue.  It was liberating!!!  How crazy that I'd never done that before. Not only have I always liked the crisp clean look and feel of white but I always worried  colors would show through my clothes. Who cares??? I loved it!  I also decided I wasn't wearing my usual big frumpy sweatshirts or my kids school spirit wear, I was wearing shirts that showed I had girls and wearing the jewelry I had to match! When I did Spring Break shopping I actually bought tops that matched my bras...crazy I know but awesome!!! I then took the time to get a pedicure. Besides all that sand had roughed up my heels and they needed some good ole TLC. It's funny how when you are losing one part of your feminine side you find other ways to bring it out. That last pedicure was just before my surgery. As hard as I tried to relax it was difficult.  Interestingly enough the man working on my feet asked if I was OK and said I looked very tired. Little did he know I was about to embark on the single biggest journey of my life. I simply replied "Yes, I'm very tired." It was sweet of him to notice.  That hour to myself made me feel girlie and relaxed one last time before I would lose a sense of that which I could never fully regain. I couldn't begin to price on the inner peace it gave me!

If you are faced with a stressful time in your life, do something to relax, be entertained, or be around those who make you feel loved. And if you know someone who is stressed, do something nice to help them out. Positive thoughts and experiences do affect health and healing. I am so very grateful for my friends and family who treated me to lunch, pampered me with gifts or flowers, sent cards that added humor or reminded me of my strong faith, or were simply just present to offer a hug or a comforting word!