I have had the script for my prostheses but it was just a matter of finding the right time to do the fitting when I wasn't as sore, the fluid build up wasn't too bad, and I was not having sensation issues. We also needed to co-ordinate my insurance so they knew they had to cover me in the gap exception rule that I spoke about earlier so I could make my purchase locally. My doctor said that was taken care of so I was ready. Today was the day!!
The woman fitting me was very sweet and professional, a retired RN. I do believe she has seen it all when it comes to mastectomies. She could tell me stories of women who handled it very well and women who were in tears their entire fitting. So sad. She was impressed with my incisions and the uniformity of both sides. Not all women have such good results post-op so I feel very fortunate. She started by telling me that the beauty of my status is that I can get both sides to perfectly match and I can choose any size I'd like to be. I've never been one to want to be larger on top so I chose to stick as close to my original size as possible. She was cracking me up by the time we were done.
I am allowed three bras every three months from my insurance. For now I just choose one as she is ordering some others for me to try later. The whole process was quite a learning experience. The sizing for these bras is completely different from your everyday bra. Each has a little pocket inside similar to the pockets inside many swim suits. I must say I was pleasantly surprised by the selection I had to choose from. The silicone forms just fold in two and slide right in then unfold. The silicone inserts come in slightly different shapes-some more oval, some more triangular. There are lighter weight inserts that I am going to refer to as being made of micro-beads (because I forgot to ask what they are called). They are more comfortable in the warmer months and much lighter in weight but I'm told not nearly as durable. However, they can be molded each time you wear them so the shape or contour can be changed to best fit the outfit you are wearing. The silicone stays in one shape. Most insurance companies only pay for one pair of prostheses every two years as they are $350 per side so I needed to be sure of the shape and the style that was right for me. Storage is very important to help maintain their shape, and they can be cleaned with mild soap and water.
After two hours of trying on and changing combinations of bras and forms I had finally decided!
Drum roll please.................................................Meet my new girls!!!!! 
This photo shows the bra with the inserts in place as well as the storage boxes for each prostheses. I opened one so you can see how it's concave. It also has a line of stitching in the mesh lining to remind you the direction to store the gel form. The storage boxes remind me of the old hair dryer my mom used for me as a kid. Remember the motor in the box with the cap and the hose attached? Now there's a memory.
A friend had texted just before my appointment so I met her afterwards for a visit. She commented that I looked great and as everyone naturally does, looked at my chest. I was beaming when I told her " You are the first to see my new girls!" She cracked up. We had a wonderful time catching up on our lives and I had no issue answering the questions she threw my way. It was some good healing time and I was so happy she'd contacted me. It had been a long day, the longest I'd logged out and about since surgery so I headed home to relax.
It took about 30 minutes for Brad to notice but he finally did. He wasn't sure what to say. He looked at my chest and said "You, you... you got boobs." "Yes dear I did!" I was so excited and said I thought they were as close to my natural size and shape as I could possibly get. I pulled down my top to show him how they worked. It was clear he didn't share my excitement. I said "I'm excited, what do you think?" He wrinkled his forehead and said, "Well they don't have skin over them." End of conversation. Again, man of few words so I really don't know for sure but I am guessing a sign Brad's not dealing as well as I am. I get that, but a little shared excitement was what I was hoping for, so no doubt my bubble had been burst. With that I went to our room and packed them away and shed a few tears. Oh well, I just had to tell myself I was happy with my new body image and move on.
I have not been very self conscious the couple of times I have been in public since my surgery. After all everyone knows what I've been through so it's no huge deal to me. Had I started the reconstruction process immediately there would have still been a significant difference in my appearance from before until now. With warmer weather just around the corner these will boost my confidence without a doubt. It is funny though how everyone naturally looks at your chest when they know what you have been through. And yes I am guilty as well! It's just simply habit! It's really pretty funny when you stop to think about it!
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