Monday, May 28, 2012

Memorial Day in Indiana.  A day to remember those who have served our country, fallen heroes, and loved ones we have lost. It's always a bit overwhelming to stop and think about how we became such a great country and the sacrifices that were made to allow us to be "the land of the free and the home of the brave."

Thinking of those gone before us makes me think a bit more about my own morbidity. I could be fighting for my life right now, undergoing chemo and/or radiation, be searching out the best treatment options or traveling out of town for the most expert of opinions, maybe even participating in clinical trials. Cancer has done a great job of causing physical and emotional stress, has changed my body image forever, has cost thousands of dollars and has certainly altered my daily routine. But because I was fortunate enough to have early detection it all seems sort of surreal.  Sometimes it's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I have had breast cancer. Yes the scars are there and I see them every day, but the fact that surgery is considered curative for me makes the journey so much easier! I can't tell you how overwhelmingly thankful I am that chemo wasn't needed. Although I missed half of Brody's golf matches due to recovery had I needed chemo I likely would have missed most or all of them. I must admit I haven't been able to enjoy all the Senior festivities as much as I normally would have but I have at least been able to attend.  Chemo would have robbed me of energy needed for party preparations for Kinsey's graduation, something I truly enjoy. I am convinced it would have taken away the positive attitude I have worked so hard to try to maintain. It simply would have rocked my world!!! Life has no guarantees, no handbook, and certainly sometimes isn't fair. My journey hasn't been pleasant by any means, but it has given me a greater appreciation for the simple everyday things we take for granted. It has given me a stronger prayer life and made me realize the incredible gift of supportive family and friends. You can't put a price on being able to wake up every morning and kiss your kids and hug your spouse. There is something to be said for that for sure!

Katherine Stephens Gallagher summed it up this way- "No matter what our setbacks, difficulties or pain, we can get through them.  Only through these moments of hell do we reach deep down within our being and discover who we are, what we believe and what is important and "real" in our lives.  We experience a "knowing of our soul."  I couldn't agree with her more!