Five days and counting! Man has this last week been rough. I could have never anticipated there being so much tension surrounding this final step. Knowing all this will soon be behind me and that I can start the next chapter of my life cancer free should be very empowering. Instead, I would have to say this last couple weeks have brought about as much stress as I felt before the mastectomies and all the uncertainty surrounding that. I know part of it is that we just finished paying off the medical bills and now this starts the process all over again. UGH!
My migraines have raged out of control and I'm certain that's due to so much tension. I've had five of them this past week. Fortunately I already had an appointment scheduled to see my headache doctor. I hate headache pain and the blurred vision it causes hampers my driving as well as my ability to read and write, so it needs to be controlled ASAP. We will see what he has to say tomorrow.
As I have mentioned before, the financial toll this all takes doesn't help either. Not all the medical bills the past five years have been from me, but most of them have. I know it shouldn't, but for me that causes guilt, and it's clearly caused Brad a lot of stress. Had my issues been more spaced out I would have at least had benefit time to use or been eligible for short term disability. Not being able to capitalize on either of those options has meant keeping a very tight reign on the budget. Brad and I have sat down and formulated a plan that I think will relieve a lot of that pressure for both of us. At least we are blessed with good jobs so that we can make some headway soon. Now I just pray this will be the end of significant health issues for all of us for a very long time.
My goal for the week is to de-stress as much as possible. A couple of lunch dates with girlfriends, getting my hair and toes done, and a Jacuzzi bubble bath should do the trick!
All arrangements are ironed out for surgery day. Since this is the fifth procedure I've had at the surgery center in 18 months I'm expecting they are all ready for me. They probably have my insurance card memorized, my signature made into a rubber stamp so I don't even have to sign my consent form, I'm guessing I will see my name in lights as they wheel me into my own personal surgery suite and heck, I shouldn't even need a wrist band as I'm pretty sure I'm on a first name basis there! Haha just kidding!
In the meantime I'm trying to stay as healthy as possible, take all my vitamins, keep exercising, and will start my pre-op prophylactic antibiotics as ordered. Come on Friday!!!
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