Wednesday, February 22, 2012
I headed South bright and early for my first ever breast MRI. Have had others MRIs but not like this. I am not normally claustraphopic but decided to not even look at the machine, just the table. Until after the procedure I couldn't have told you if it was open or closed. Good thing!  They prepped me and put me on the table. I had to lay face down with my face in a tiny horseshoe pillow-much smaller than the ones used for a massage. It was a 45 min test. Holy Shit Batman!!!! Brad offered to go but I assured him I would be fine. He will be missing so much work throughout all of this and his boss is totally supportive. We don't want to take advantage of that and want him to go to the more important steps.

The contrast did not bother me at all, just made my tongue feel thick for a few seconds. I was very uncomfortable and started praying the rosary. It was Ash Wednesday and I had nothing but time.  With 6 min left I couldn't do it any longer. I got extremely hot and asked to stop. If I chose to stop it was all in vain and we would have to start over. Lord help me!  They did one more min and slid me out. I was able to raise my head just enough to take a sip of water and put on an ice pack. I regrouped and went back in for 5 more min. I do believe that was worse than the biopsy!  Next time I will ask for sedation for sure! After I hopped off the table I looked back. Thank goodness I hadn't checked out the machine before hand! No wonder I got hot. It was like a little cave in there.

Next I visited the gift shop. It was difficult seeing so many cancer related items but it was therapeutic at the same time. I spent more than I should have and sat down to take a break and look over all my loot. After all when the going gets tough the tough go shopping!

That's when hospice called to inform me of the sudden downturn of my dear friend Mary who I have been with for 9 years. I was to have been staying with her today but couldn't due to my MRI. Mary hasn't been alert enough to fully understand if I shared my situation with her. But I know she would have insisted I get the MRI asap so I did!   Overwhelming guilt set in. I had a huge day-MRI, meeting an old friend for lunch, and working all night. Plus I had been awake since 4AM unable to sleep. Once again I regrouped and called another dear friend. I zipped home and she picked me up and we headed to Mary's. We spent 5 wonderful hours at her bedside and visiting with her other caregivers. It was difficult but good! She looked very peaceful. Next it was off to work from 10pm-6:30am.