Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Kind of a rough day today for me and Brad. Trying to stay busy yet getting a little nervous about tomorrow.  I see the oncologist and a friend, the basketball mom I mentioned earlier, has her bilateral mastectomies. Going to be an emotional day ahead!  I have sent my well wishes to her and her family and have prayed for them regularly. Wishing her only the best!

Although our journey is still in the beginning stages, friends and family have asked how the kids and Brad are handling all of this. Sometimes that has been difficult to answer. Brody is like me-deep in his thoughts and his emotions.  He keeps some things to himself but usually I can read him if he's bothered by something.  Kinsey is much more like Brad, very quiet and to herself, only letting her thoughts out when she is completely ready, if then. As they say it's the quiet ones ya gotta worry about. :)

As I knew would eventually happen, today was a turning point for my husband Brad. To be perfectly honest it has taken longer for all of this to sink in for him. Partly because he doesn't have medical background and partly as this is his nature.  This is neither a bad nor a negative thing, it is just how he handles stress. He knows that and I know that so it was completely expected. As I am sure you are aware from your own experiences, when there are bumps in the road we all handle them in different fashions. The key is that we do handle them! Brad has gone to all the appointments that I wanted him to, the others I felt it wasn't necessary for him to miss work. However getting him to talk is more difficult. Frankly I've been worried about how he has really been handling all of this. Finally, today he opened up. It must have been a huge relief to him as I know it certainly was to me!!! Without sharing too much personal information let me just say that we had a wonderful talk!  Sometimes when you have been with someone for 27 years (5 dating, 22 married) you think talking is automatic-not always!

Let me just end my note today by saying that talking is something very individual.  For me, like my dad, I was given the gift of gab. OK, not as big of gift as him but still a gift!!!  Some of you have voiced hesitation on if you should ask me about my journey when you see me on the street. Please feel free!  Even I have times when I just can't talk about it anymore and if it happens to be one of those times I will be honest and say so. Please don't think you have offended me or hurt my feelings by asking.