Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Back to the Dr. today after he was out for a week. Holding steady with drainage hovering in 30's. I could tell he was seriously considering pulling them as he looked over my log although he didn't say anything other than running the totals in his head.  I was blatantly honest and told him I was not at all comfortable with them coming out right now, that I wasn't trying to be difficult but clearly pulling them at what works well for "normal" women didn't work out so well for me the last time. I explained that although I was quite ready to be free of them I would rather they stay so they don't have to go back in or so I don't have to be aspirated every few days. He was very understanding and said that my being a nurse really helps and that he was fine with that. So we revert to the prior plan-see him Friday if I think they can come out otherwise call and reschedule for next week. Otherwise he was very impressed with my progress and said it all looked wonderful. My stitches are dissolving very well and the incisions look great!

I stopped by work and spoke with my boss. They are anxious for me to come back so for sure I will go in at the end of the month to help with our big paperwork changeover. I am looking forward to that!  Got some hugs and well wishes and headed back home.

Yesterday Kinsey and I had a great time participating in a promotional my cousin was having in her photography business. There is a program called I Picture Hope where photographers and sometimes make up artists and hairdressers also participate. A free photo session is offered to women that have battled breast cancer. After being treated to a professional make over we packed all our breast cancer clothing and headed to the studio for a fun photo shoot. I can't wait to see how the pictures turn out!!!

Now that it's been 10 months into my journey people are asking more questions. It's funny because it's obvious many want to ask but may be too embarrassed or maybe feel they are being too bold. There really have not been any questions that have offended me or made me feel uncomfortable. It's sort of like how talking about your pregnancy and labor and delivery used to be unheard of in public now many women openly share, I feel the same way with this. If women had not shared their experiences with me it would be a much more difficult road to travel.

Kinsey's boyfriend said he didn't know if he should ask but wanted to know if this surgery had provided any visible shape at this point and what was the next step. It completely depends what I wear whether you can see if there is shape. Because I have been wearing layers to conceal my drains it is difficult to tell. When I took my fleece jacket off and had just one layer he could see there was in fact something there!  We were cracking up! I'm just glad he is comfortable enough to ask if it's on his mind. Then I got a text from a family member asking when I "get my new boobs put in" and of course the conversation took a funny turn from there. The focus was on what do the expanders actually feel like. My response was just about hard as rocks but the "real" fake ones are supposed to feel much more natural. For those of you who have had children the best description is that I feel almost constantly like I am engorged and often get that intense tingling feeling that you get when your milk lets down. It's uncomfortable but tolerable. Sometimes I still have episodes of significant pain but usually it doesn't last long.

While at the mall this weekend we ran into "Bubbles." She looked absolutely beautiful!  She looked amazing and was just as happy-go-lucky as ever. It's hard to believe she has been through so much when you look at her. It was great to see her feeling well enough to be out and about!

Tomorrow it's off to the oncologist for my 6 month follow up. Don't expect to learn anything there but will be glad to have it behind me as well.