Thursday, December 26, 2013

Merry Christmas everyone!  I'm sure many are still celebrating with Christmas falling mid-week this year. At our home we celebrate through New Years and leave our decorations up for the full 12 days of Christmas that ends on the Epiphany. Love every minute of this blessed time of year!!!

I just wanted to take a moment to share a few holiday pics that were part of our special memories at the Deno home.

                                           Loved the early snow on our nativity.

"Brown paper packages tied up with strings. These are a few of my favorite things!"

                                                                     
                                                           Our gang!

                               
                                                24 years on December 30th

My sister had to "rig" our name drawing because she already had a gift for me...this awesome breast cancer purse!  The ornament was a little surprise from a dear friend and the necklace is from Kinsey. Love, love, love!

May you and yours continue to have safe and happy holiday celebrations and travels. Wishing the best to our troops currently serving, and praying for those who find the holidays a difficult lonely time. 

Blessing to you and your familys the remainder of 2013!

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Good Grief Charlie Brown it's almost Christmas! Like all of you we've been busy celebrating Thanksgiving and prepping for Christmas. Working hard here to stay positive and trying to enjoy the things I take for granted. Seems there is always sad news but it always ramps up around the holidays.

Our neighbors lost their barn and 9 horses in a tragic fire this week. We have one family member that struggles every holiday affecting all those around. A friend who has been fighting cancer several years was just told it has spread again, this time to a major organ. And lastly a young gal at church, just 38 with a husband and three young children, has invasive breast cancer. Stress is everywhere!

Survivor's guilt. Very real, very tough. I have certainly been experiencing that these last several weeks. Father led the entire congregation in prayer for our member with breast cancer and I had to fight back the tears. So worried for her and her family yet so thankful once again for my health. Sometimes it's tough to know if I should reach out. So glad I did as our Christmas card from their family reflected appreciation for our conversations. Glad that sharing my experiences can help bring hope and peace to another. Really praying for these two ladies whose holidays are filled with doctor appointments and treatments!

Fortunately we ended our week on a much brighter note. Kinsey got home Tuesday night for her Christmas break. On Wednesday morning her boyfriend knelt at her bedside wearing a Carhart jacket. Inside was a puppy wearing a collar with a very special present! We now officially have a daughter who is engaged, a son-in-law to be, and a grandpuppy "Bruce"!!! Kinsey, Kybren, Kybren's mom and I celebrated with a brunch here. (Yes Kybren asked our permission so we had a head's up). From there he took Kinsey to get her nails done and then they ran the circuit to show grandparents and Godparents. Tonight we are invited to the Fosters for dinner and more celebration. Exciting times ahead!

Yesterday Brody learned he was accepted to Purdue University!  Boiler Up!!! It is right out our back door and actually was Brody's third choice. Now he has a huge decision to make-University of Indianapolis, IUPUI, or Purdue???  That's a great problem to have!  We are so proud of him and his dedication to homework, work, and sports. Pretty sure I could not handle the schedule he sets for himself.

As I type we are under a winter storm warning and I LOVE IT!  Big fan of snow but especially at Christmas time. It seems to add magic to the air and really kicks me into high gear for the holiday season. It is my hope that this beautiful marshmallow world brings joy and happiness to those facing difficult journeys, those who are alone, and those less fortunate in any way. Stay safe all and enjoy this winter wonderland!

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Last week was a 6 month oncology follow up. This time I saw Becky the NP (Nurse Practitioner). She did a very thorough breast exam and found no issues.We covered lots of bases but I did mention that my memory has been lousy since the last two surgeries. I attribute most of it to four major surgeries in 12 months and the fact that I didn't wake up well with the longest one. Of course there is also the factor of my age, almost 47. As we know dear old "Minnie Paws" is starting to show signs she is knocking at the door. UGH As I already knew Becky verified that surgery can have the effect on people and she herself has experienced it. Otherwise I got a clean bill of health and will be back in six months.

I've been anxious to speak with Becky about my idea of an informational handout for women with breast cancer. Apparently chemo patients receive a folder full of resources but those who do not require chemo do not get the information. She immediately acknowledged that we all hear the same thing, "You have cancer" and therefore all experience many of the same thoughts and fears.  Becky was very open to my idea of providing at least a flier to women who undergo lumpectomy, radiation, and even mastectomy but don't require chemo. I simply need to provide her with a list of reading material etc. that I found very helpful and she has agreed to make it available.  I'm thrilled! Now I need to get to work! If any of you have resources or reading references/websites you care to share please contact me and I would be happy to try to include those in the info I present.

On Monday at our regularly scheduled support group meeting our leader and founder Teresa outdid herself! She had F. Elaine Olsen, author of the book we have been reading together, Beyond Cancer's Scars lined up to Skype with us! Remember me focusing one post on "somethings'?  That was Elaine and her creative writing! She spoke with us for nearly an hour about her journey as well as how she has been able to relate it to scripture. Since you couldn't all join us I will share some of her insight. Elaine said that for many "cancer is a classroom and we are it's students. Survivorship has less to do with defeating the disease but more with defeating the silence about it." I couldn't agree more.  She says it's "less about beating cancer and more about beating silence. God intends for us to share our story." She feels our stories evolve into a type of "kinship".  So well said Elaine!

It was fascinating how she spoke of "destruction and reconstruction".  Hmmm, our breasts are destroyed and many are reconstructed.  We can relate this to the Bible in many ways, but my first thought reflected back on the many plagues.  I have often referred to cancer as a modern day plaque. Cancer can be so destructive to our bodies, our emotions, and even our daily lives but we can assist in "reconstruction" by giving of ourselves and "reaching out to others who need encouragement." Elaine had so many wonderful points to share I think we could have sat and listened to her all night. She will be sending us another book she has authored and I can't wait to read it.

In closing I will leave you on this stormy Halloween night with this...

Thursday, October 10, 2013

You can't miss it because it's advertised everywhere-October is breast cancer awareness month. I absolutely love that businesses and organizations are helping raise awareness about breast cancer and are also raising money to help with prevention and cure. Statistically it affects one in eight which is huge when you think about it. All the hype and publicity, the openly shared struggles of fighters and survivors, they are all very empowering. I must say they are also a source of encouragement to me to be so open about my journey. It's no longer taboo to talk about boobs in public. Who would have thought that??? haha

That being said, I completely understand that for folks with other cancers all the pink may feel like a negative.  I will never forget the lunch I had last October with a friend diagnosed with melanoma. Deb was a guest writer here and she spoke at Relay for Life. She said sometimes she wonders "Where is my melanoma day?" That statement really hit home to me, especially as we sat in Panera and the restaurant was all decked out in pink. Pretty sure I have shared her thought before, but it seemed only fitting as I sit here and type in my pink shirt touting "Power in Pink" that I post something this month that isn't just all about breast cancer. All cancers are evil and anyone who hears the words "You have cancer" experiences a gamut of feelings that can be very overwhelming. We can buy shirts that represent other cancers, we can even have them made, but there is just something about strength in numbers. Those things will never have the same effect as pink plastered everywhere from newspapers, to football fields to cakes in a display window. 

In an effort to help educate and raise awareness about other cancers and diseases I hope to find more guest writers for my blog. Our stories are different but we have a common bond. Great strength can be gained from sharing and it can also be incredibly therapeutic. If you would like to be a guest here please feel free to contact me through my blog or my email at kbdeno@sbcglobal.net. Together we can make a difference!

Below is a link for cancer awareness months and ribbon colors:

http://www.choosehope.com/calendar-of-cancer-awareness-months

http://www.artedesigns.com/awareness_color.htm

Of course I will continue with my passion for pink but in the meantime may this rainbow of color represent all who are facing any kind of struggle.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Remember my friend Cameron Von St. James and his wife Heather who won her fight against mesothelioma? Well Heather has been working very hard on a campaign to raise awareness. September 26th is Mesothelioma Awareness Day. Please click on the link below to learn more about asbestos and mesothelioma.

Thank you Cameron and Heather for sharing your link. And might I add...Heather you look amazing!!!!

www.mesothelioma.com/heather/awareness

  

Monday, August 26, 2013

Our cancer support group met tonight for our monthly fellowship. We have been doing a book study which involves reading a book a few chapters at a time on our own then discussing what we read and how it pertains to our cancer experiences. The book is Beyond Cancer's Scars by F. Elaine Olsen. Elaine is a breast cancer survivor and quite a talented writer. She beautifully entwines her cancer journey and experiences with biblical accounts. She truly has a gift!

There are so many amazing points to be shared. She opens her writings with a most beautiful paragraph:

"Courageous is the soul who contends with suffering, wrestles with suffering, lays claim to a stronger spirit because of suffering, and refuses to retreat from the battle until something is gained from suffering.  Even if that something is as small (or as huge) as befriending another soul walking a similar path."

Such powerful words! She frequently refers to the fact that we all have a "something" be it big or small. It may be cancer, it may be another struggle we face in life. We are "walking wounded". How right she is! We don't need an illness or a tragedy to feel despair and hopelessness, that comes far too often in our everyday lives. We need a "something" every once in awhile in our lives to redirect us, to help us focus on just what is important and to put things in perspective. It is how we deal with our "something" that matters.

It seems that although most of the summer was pleasant and relaxing it has ended with a great degree of sadness. Our community experienced the loss of a spring graduate of our local high school, a young man just 18 years old. He was a nephew to good friends of ours. A freak car accident claimed his life and left us all deeply saddened. Many began asking why such terrible things happen, especially to young people. As I watched our friends during their difficult time I began to understand that the accident and it's outcome was their "something". We all prayed that they would stay strong and our prayers were answered. Although Cole lost his life in a tragic accident, he and his family were able to give the greatest gift of all...the gift of life! Cole's family chose organ donation and by doing so Cole saved at least four other lives. As I reflect back to the paragraph above it fits so perfectly with his story. Cole's family had to have courage, they suffered the deepest loss one can suffer, the loss of a child. Yet they didn't retreat but rather trusted God and fought on. They took a terrible experience, a horrible "something", and made a miracle from it! God bless them!

Elaine's book is quick to point out that God doesn't want us to wander our paths alone, He wants us to bear our crosses and become stronger. By extending a hand to each other as we face our "something" we connect, share, grow, and learn. Almost daily I am reminded that my cancer diagnosis, although seemingly a curse at the time, has actually been a blessing. Because of it so many people have come into my life. I have grown in many ways, I have learned so much about myself and others as well as the disease, and because of it God has strengthened my faith. Certainly I would have never asked for this "something", but in hindsight it has brought me many blessings for which I am very grateful!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

School is back in session and summer is nearly over. That's really a bummer to me because it was the first one in several years that we weren't feeling burdened with something major in our lives. After my last surgery I found myself struggling with left over feelings about my cancer journey. It seemed that since I was no longer preoccupied with surgeries, doctor appointments, dressing changes etc. I finally had time to just reflect on where I had been and where I was headed. There are some things that we can change about ourselves and our relationships, other paths we can choose, and of course there are things that can't be changed. I talked to Brad about some of my thoughts and asked if he would be willing to do some counseling with me. He declined. After much consideration I decided to go on my own. It seemed I needed help figuring out where my path was headed. Counseling was sort of a gift I gave myself. Our bodies work so hard to recover from the pain and physical aspects of an illness that sometimes we forget that our minds need tended to as well. Our local cancer support group is awesome for this, however I just felt I needed more.

Although family and close friends had offered their suggestions, speaking to a neutral person seemed to fit the bill for me. First was the confirmation that my family and I had been through a tremendous amount of stress related to health issues in a period of about five years-Brad's dad and my cousin both suffering serious strokes, my dad a massive heart attack, a hysterectomy for me, a mini-stroke for Brad, Kinsey a broken leg and surgery, sinus surgery for me, 10 months of severe debilitating headaches for Kinsey, gallbladder surgery and finally breast cancer for me. I was able to openly talk about the stress of medical bills, the toll it takes on a family when one member is down, and the frustrations of expectations in relationships. Whew!  Just thinking about it all is exhausting!!! Sometimes it is good to hear that the feelings experienced are totally normal. It was also very helpful to have someone tell me to continue to stay strong in the face of all opposition and adversity and that sharing my story is very comforting as well as therapeutic. My oncologist encourages a holistic approach and she too confirmed therapeutic effects of the above, combined with a healthy diet and exercise.

Another topic I felt I needed to "get off my chest" (haha) had to do with my struggles with reconstruction. So many have asked me if I am happy with my decision to go through with it. Honestly, it was until today that I could completely say YES! As I was doing housework and thinking over the process today was the first time I could say I am happy with my decision. It was a horribly difficult one for me due to fear of infection and because I felt so much pressure from others that it was the choice I should make. My doctor was so reserved about it and made it very clear that reconstruction was my decision to make and only mine. I am very grateful to him for that opinion and guidance. Discussing those struggles, although they were behind me, was incredibly helpful and healing!

I have referenced it before but taking care of our minds and emotions is such a huge aspect to our health and well being.  It doesn't matter what stage of life we are in or what we are facing, many of us could probably use a good dose of holistic health care. There are many days where something about my journey crosses my mind. Sometimes I still wish I had had a day where I just sat and cried and cried, just as an all out sort of cleansing system I guess. That hasn't happened. Talking to a neutral person who I could pay to listen to me instead of feeling like I was burdening a friend or relative was just the prescription for me! That decision alone helped me to feel more at ease and to be able to enjoy some great summer time fun with friends and family.