Tuesday, May 28, 2013

So, do you all remember me posting along the way some tidbits about someone I referred to as "Bubbles"? Well "Bubbles" is my cousin Mike's wife Roberta, or Bert as we all know her. You may or may not remember that she is a three time cancer survivor and has been so very helpful to me along my cancer journey. Well not long ago Bert and her doctor were featured on an Indianapolis TV station newscast sharing her story and trying to educate others on the BRCA genetic testing and it's significance. Bert has enlightened me a lot about carrying "the gene" as BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 genes have come to be known.

Bert's story is so fascinating to me but it's really interesting because it's cousins in her family who are linked. Bert and I are not blood, I am a cousin to her husband. However it's our side that has all the cousins with cancer plus one aunt. As my doctor explained, there are only two genes discovered. Scientists are certain there are more, and it's quite possible my family has a gene that is yet to be discovered.

I was also further educated when I met a gal in my plastic surgeon's office who shared her very courageous story about carrying one of the BRAC genes. She is referred to as a young "pre-vivor."  Pre-vivors are women who carry one of the genes and opt to take very aggressive measures to prevent forms of female cancer before they happen, therefore pre-vivors and not survivors.  Many of them have their children and then have all female organs removed in hopes of greatly decreasing or even completely preventing cancer all together. Now that takes courage and strength!

If you would like to hear Bert's story, AKA "Bubbles" please click on the link below. Thanks Bert for going public with your battle and helping to spread the word!

http://www.theindychannel.com/lifestyle/health/woman-battling-breast-cancer-learns-of-family-risk-through-genetic-testing

Monday, May 13, 2013

I opened my email today and found a request from a blogger friend. Remember my guest blogger Cameron Von St. James? Well he contacted me again but this time asking if I would be willing to share with all of you the short video his wife Heather and their family made. Of course I was thrilled! So here it is! Please take a moment to check out their personal story at www.mesothelioma.com/heather

Thank you again Cameron for keeping me posted. It is so awesome to see Heather healthy and see your daughter growing into a beautiful young lady!

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Yesterday was a follow up appointment with my plastic surgeon. All looks great!  We briefly discussed if I planned to add the finishing touches (nipples and tattoo). My answer was a firm no!  That was one thing that Brad and I agreed on immediately at the appointment where we discussed the reconstruction process. He and I had almost no discussion. We simply walked out of the office, looked at each other and said "no!"  I just didn't do well looking at all those photos of reconstructed nipples, not to mention it is another surgery and another chance for infection. Afterall, if I have nipples they have to be covered up. Right now, if I really don't want to wear a bra I don't have to and there is no harm done. There is no feeling in a reconstructed nipple so there is no benefit there. 

We did discuss the sunken/concave area in my chest wall around the left breast. My plastic surgeon explained that since that was my cancer side the general surgeon would have taken as much tissue as possible therefore leaving the skin flap thinner there. Lipo injections can be done to fill in that area. Again, my answer was a firm "no!"  I can't fathom any kind of surgery at this point and I don't want to risk any chance of infection. If I would have an infection issue now it could mean starting at square one and most likely not getting nearly as good of an end result as what I have now. I have no desire to take that risk. The plan is a one year follow up appointment unless I encounter any kind of issue.

My appointment ended on a very high note as the receptionist commented on my weight loss and told me I looked great! That was certainly a bright spot in my day! So nice to receive a compliment once in awhile. 

Tonight I attended a Relay for Life meeting. I have participated in Relay before but never been a team captain. I am hoping to do some successful fundraising but am kind of lagging behind after taking on the After Prom project for Brody's Junior class. 

If you or anyone you know has a cancer diagnosis there is a great resource available through the American Cancer Society. If you simply call 1-800-227-2345 and ask for a Personal Health Manager they will mail out a kit designed to help organize your health care information. The best part is it's free! The ACS has a whole host of services available to cancer patients and their families. If you or someone you know has a need please call the toll free number with any questions you may have. 

I can't believe it's May already! I'd like to take a minute to wish all the teachers happy teacher appreciation week and the nurses a happy nurses's week!  And of course a shout out to all you moms..Happy Mother's Day!

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Wow!  Since I've been MIA for a month I guess it's time to do some catching up.  First I need to wish a double Happy Birthday to my Dad who turned 69 today and also to our lovely daughter Kinsey who turned 20. Where does the time go???

One year, one month, and one day ago on April 3rd, 2012, I had my bilateral mastectomies. That date marked a transformation for me both physically and mentally. It was from that point that I was no longer a cancer patient but instead was considered a "survivor".  That sounded to me like a great reason to party! There had been plenty of attention placed on me for over a year so instead of focusing on that I decided this party could be a celebration focusing on thanks.  The only daunting task was to decide who to invite. Clearly I couldn't accommodate everyone who had wished me well so I decided to choose those who were there from start to finish, through thick and thin. 

After attempting to transform our unfinished basement into a "pink" zone we all gathered there on April 13th for some wine, appetizers, and some extra special thank yous.  With Brad's help preparing munchies and Kinsey's help with the decorating, it was a fun evening shared with about 35 of the most awesome women I know! It was a mixed bunch-some family, all friends. There were people I see everyday and others I don't see real often like my hairdresser and our vet. Even Grandma was there in spirit. Apparently I chose the perfect date because almost everyone I invited was able to attend. We had a great time just catching up, relaxing, and as you can imagine sharing a few tears.

There are so many things I have learned through this breast cancer journey. First of course is the power of prayer. There were people praying that I don't know and have never even met, some near, some far, some I have not seen or spoken with in years. That alone is empowering. Secondly I learned that people don' t have to do big things because the little things mean just as much. There were those who brought meals, one who mowed our yard, some who sent flowers or delivered presents and even those who offered monetary support knowing how tight things got with me off work and so many medical bills.  Many in the room had simply checked in time and time again with a visit, a call, a text, Face Book message or an email. As I explained they had no idea how much regular contact meant. It's funny how God works. I never had too many visitors or too many calls, they were instead perfectly spaced to fill in the dull or down moments. They couldn't have been scheduled and turned out any more therapeutic.

As you can imagine there wasn't time to speak about everyone or how each had touched my life. Instead I spoke in generalizations. There were however three women I felt I had to speak about individually. First was my Grandma Budreau. Although she was in the nursing home and no longer able to do the extras she would have in the past, her role was praying the rosary. Even as her body failed she never once forgot to ask how I was or to tell me she was praying. Since she has passed I placed an angel she gave me on the table and tied some pink balloons to it. She was certainly there in spirit.  Second was my cousin Monica, aka my "big sister". She had suffered a stroke at age 46. It was her undying faith, her strength and courage that so many times gave me the motivation to "keep on keeping on". Lastly of course was my sister, Kristin. She attended appointments, organized food, and was my private duty nurse. I had to write out my thoughts and still couldn't communicate them all as effectively as I would have liked to. Before I was done there was hardly a dry eye in the room.

I had plenty of pink- small party favors and pink flowers, pink cupcakes with breast cancer liners, cancer ribbon pasta salad, and even pink bracelets available for the younger girls who joined me. Somehow I even  managed to find a bottle of wine with a tag supporting the cause.

Although this party was about thanking my girlfriends some of them still felt the need to bring something special for me. Spoiled once again! Little did they know that there mere presence was present enough!

A dear friend had burned a very moving and empowering CD for me even before I was diagnosed. She had no idea how many times I would listen to it throughout the course of my journey. The last song is called "Thanks". I really wanted to play it after I was done addressing the group. However, I knew that they like me didn't want to spend their entire evening in tears. After all this was a PARTAAAAY!!!!! So instead I will post the video here. It pretty much sums up how I feel about all the love and support that has been shown to me and my family. It brings tears to my eyes every time I listen. I truly have the best family and friends anyone could every ask for! 

Monday, March 25, 2013

One week ago today a very special angel entered the gates of Heaven.  We called her Grandma Betty.  Grandma turned 95 just 8 days before, but a celebration was not meant to be. Instead, just before her birthday, she announced she was ready to go to be with the Lord and all her deceased family members.  From that time on family held a constant vigil by her bed tending to her every need. I was so very proud of my dad for his strength and devotion. He had faithfully gone to visit Grandma twice a day daily during her years in the nursing home. Over the winter months, as she began failing, he rode each trip in the ambulance with her and spent many hours with her at the hospital. Once she decided it was her time he and his siblings took turns by her side around the clock.

Grandma had a long, vibrant life filled with her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and even a few great greats. She was so proud of each and every one and always had time to stop and brag about their latest endeavors and accomplishments. She was such a wonderful role model- loving wife, mother, grandmother.  And an awesome cook for sure! I always remember the homemade baked macaroni and homemade ice cream at family gatherings. As our family grew to record numbers she decided to rent out the local private school gym and each Christmas she hosted a big party. We enjoyed delicious food, fellowship, basketball games, and of course presents.  She made sure that every single person had at least something small to open besides her monetary gift.  Mostly though, Grandma was a soldier of Christ. She faithfully attended daily Mass until she simply wasn't able, then attended weekly Mass at the nursing home. She devoted hours of her day to EWTN and simply adored a nun by the name of Mother Angelica. The one thing I will never forget about Grandma is her undying devotion to the Holy Rosary. She would say it faithfully every single day and usually multiple times a day, always letting family know she was praying it for all of us! When she was so frail and weak and could hardly speak it was her Rosary she requested.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer Grandma was one of my many prayer warriors. Every time I would visit she assured me she had already prayed that very day for me! She always remembered to ask how I was doing and when my next surgery was. And of course, as Grandmothers do, she told me to be careful and not to over do! There was a lot of comfort in knowing she had things under control even on the days I felt like I didn't.

                                                                 
                         One of the many Christmas celebrations in the school gym

 Great Grandchildren Colton, Kinsey, Brody, Cassidy 

(the only four grandchildren of my dad)

and Grandma Betty Budreau

My brother Kenny, me, my sister Kristin, and Grandma

My Dad, Step-mom Dianne, and Grandma 

Saying good-bye is always hard no matter how old, how sick, or how much someone is ready to leave this world. However I found comfort in knowing that Grandma got her wish to be with the Lord, her family members, and to finally be free of pain. Kinsey was able to help with the readings at her service and Brody was asked to be a pall bearer. So many of the great grandchildren were able to be a part of her celebration of life.  Thank you Grandma for all you did for me and my family, but most of all thanks for your many prayers and undying love for us. There is no doubt God is rewarding you now in Heaven!

With all my love,

Kim

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

We had a late winter blast of some beautiful wet snow last night; the most we've had all winter! So glad to see the wonder it creates, especially today. I've been a little bit down thinking about how similar this spring has been to last. Thankfully it's going better for me but once again I am hearing of more and more women donning their pink boxing gloves.

My cousin just buried one of her best friends who lost a long battle with breast cancer. I never met her but feel as though I did from the lovely photos shared. She really left a legacy of her life and did something so awesome at her service. She helped plan out her service and certainly deviated from the norm. She had my cousin take family photos back in the summer. She stewed and stewed on what to order. As she lay in bed her final days she requested her family place a large canvas of their family photo near the bed for her to look at. At the service I'm told this photo was the focal point and the casket was actually off to the side. Then she saw to it that all guests were offered a daily devotional to take home-some for children some for adults. She truly wanted God and her family life to be her legacy. What an awesome idea!

Remember last Spring Break? I was awaiting surgery but while in Florida a good friend found out her mom had breast cancer. Well she is ready for her final step of reconstruction. You go girl!!!

Another local gal diagnosed about the same time as my friend's mom and I is really struggling in her battle. I pray for her often. It's so hard to understand how God decides what our journey will entail and where it will end. It breaks my heart that she is struggling so.

An old friend and prior boss has offered me support along the way. This time she asked a favor of me. One of her co-workers was just diagnosed with DCIS stage 0 just like me. She is seeing the same surgeon I did and asked if I would be willing to chat with her co-worker. Of course my response was ABSOLUTELY!!! My new "bosom buddy" gave  me a ring on the weekend and we had a nice long chat. She thanked me several times and we agreed to keep in touch through her journey. It was tough at first because I could really sense the fear in her voice. She too is a nurse so understands the process. However, having a medical background doesn't mean it's any less stressful or frightening. She assured me she has great support. We plan to meet for lunch one day when she has more information about her treatment plans and I may try to line up another friend who I just did lunch with to join us. The sisterhood of survivors is a Godsend!

I'm seriously thinking about walking in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Indy this spring. Kinsey is on board to join me so maybe that will be my next goal. I need to ramp up my exercise a bit but would just walk in the walk and not the competitive part. Hmmm, food for thought!

I'll end today with an uplifting thought for all my "Bosom Buddies" on their journeys:

Thursday, February 28, 2013

So a couple weeks ago I got an email from one of my blog followers. He explained that his wife had battled mesothelioma several years ago so he knew first hand the struggles one faces as they try to be a caregiver to a loved one.  Cameron asked if I would be open to him writing a short article about his experiences that I could then post on my blog. Needless to say I was delighted!

Below is what Cameron sent. I have only quickly checked out his blog, but it's clear he is on a real mission to share his story and do what he can to make a difference. I posted the link at the end of his article and would encourage you to check it out!!! Thank you Cameron for taking a moment to contact me and for sharing your passion about helping families and caregivers through their experiences and emotions as they offer support on a cancer journey. Maybe together we CAN make a difference!

Caregiving  For a Cancer Patient

On November 21, 2005 my wife Heather was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma, a form of cancer that would put us on the battlefield for the next several years as we tried to overcome it. To Heather, her diagnosis was so frightening that she couldn’t say anything after the doctor told her the diagnosis. The news came just three months after one of the happiest moments of our lives, the birth of our first and only child, Lily.

The doctor was reading off our options for treatment and telling us where we could go to get help. It was either a local hospital, a regional hospital further away, a treatment center in Boston, where we could see a renowned mesothelioma specialist named Dr. Sugarbaker.  I just wanted to get Heather the very best treatment available. I turned to the doctor and said, “Get us to Boston!”

The next few months were a whirlwind of doctor’s appointments, traveling to and from Boston, and handling Heather’s condition as best as possible. I learned to be her constant caretaker, even as I had to work a full-time job and raise our infant daughter. The pressures of being a new father, a full time caregiver and the sole provider for my family were enormous, and I frequently found myself overwhelmed and breaking down under the responsibility.

There were moments during Heather’s illness where I would go off by myself to cry. I didn’t know how to handle what was happening around me.  Medical bills steadily piled up and I feared we wouldn’t be able to pay them all.  I constantly feared that I would lose my wife and be left a poor, widowed single father. I cried to myself though, never letting Heather see my moments of weakness. In Heather’s condition she wasn’t in any shape to deal with these things I kept them hidden from her as much as I could. It was her health that was first in our lives. She HAD to beat cancer!

I learned several lessons as a caregiver that helped me make it through. First and foremost, I learned to let go of my pride and ask for help. Our friends and family came to our aid in our darkest time, providing everything from a shoulder to cry on, to desperately needed financial assistance. I learned to let myself be weak at times.  Bad days are inevitable in a situation like this and you can’t fight them. Let them happen, but never let yourself give up hope. Hope is your greatest weapon in this fight.

Over the following months, Heather would undergo extensive and difficult treatment for mesothelioma. Against all odds, with the help and support of our loving community and the care of our incredible doctors, Heather was able to beat mesothelioma, a rare feat accomplished by far too few. Today, over seven years since her diagnosis, she is healthy and cancer free.

Caring for someone with cancer requires a total commitment, a strong will, and a strong heart. I didn’t start the journey with those things, but now that Heather is cancer free and watching our daughter grow up, I am proud to say that I have grown as a person. I hope that by sharing our story of success over this ugly cancer I can help another currently in their own battle today.

Cameron Von St. James 

http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/cameron/