Saturday, September 30, 2012

Did not sleep well at all last night and simply couldn't muster up the energy to go an hour out of town for this soccer tournament. In the end it was OK that I didn't but I felt so bad not going. Brad made the trip and filled in on my team mom duties which I had all organized. The fellas really liked their shirts so success there.

Got a message and a picture from a good friend today. Her daughter is studying to be a hairdresser. She got a pink hair extension in honor of me. So cool!  Thanks Kayla!  You made my day!

Thought sure I posted this but guess not. Just before my surgery Kinsey had her nails done. They turned out nice! These girls are so thoughtful!

Friday, September 28, 2012

Last night I braved Brody's last regular season soccer game. The weather was gorgeous and the set up at the school was such that we could park up near the field so a very short walk, plus the school is actually closer in distance than our own.  Brad took a lawn chair so I'd be more comfortable. It felt delightful to sit and watch the boys!

Since I have been off of narcotics for several days I decided to be brave and drive to our local store for a coke. It's all of a mile away so no big deal. It felt good to get out but that was enough for one day. Got home and baked "Bison chips" (yellow and green snickerdoodles) for the boys and wrapped them in their sectional T-shirts. It was good to have a little something to do that didn't require lifting etc but got me off the couch. Sitting around makes me crazy so this was perfect simple busy work. We team moms have tried really hard to make this pre-sectional week special for the guys as they haven't won a game. They play their hearts out but just haven't been able to get the job done. We had something special planned for each day then tomorrow they will receive the shirts after their tournament. That way they can wear them Monday to school for the sectional game.

I'm 8 days post-op and still have plenty of drainage. That's ok because there's more room out than in!  So far the antibiotic has kept my drain insertion sites from getting so red and irritated like they did last time around in just 5 days. The surgical and muscle pain is getting much better and I've just been taking Tylenol and Motrin as needed. I do think that there might be a very small pocket of fluid build up on the left side although it's much harder to tell this time around. It was easy before because I was sunken and any fluid was easily palpable. With the expanders in it's more difficult. Both sides were very firm, now there is a small soft area. It's not getting any larger so I'm not too concerned.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

My sister-in-law toted me to the doctor and even stopped so I could grab a fountain Diet Coke!  AHHHHHH!!!!  Brad got off work a bit early and met me there. This was the first visit to the plastic surgeon in which it was clear that three of us were there for the same reason. I started talking with one gal and suddenly it dawned on me that her story was too familiar. I asked her name. Eureka!  She had been my nurse the day of my colonoscopy. I didn't recognize her because while working she had worn a wig and today she was glowing with  a new post chemo do. We laughed as we shared that we each looked familiar. She is now 5 weeks post mastectomy and immediate reconstruction. She shared how very painful her process has been, to the point of nearly dropping her to her knees at times. I told her about my experience the night before and she could completely relate.Today was to be her first fill and she was not at all looking forward to it. She still faces radiation treatments :(   The other gal moved about clearly in pain and had her fanny pack on. Her color was terrible, and I felt soooo sorry for her. She was also 5 weeks post mastectomy and immediate reconstruction. She had experienced a lot of pain, it had eased and now she was to the point of intense pain and needing narcotics again, plus she still had one drain in. She said it's all she can do to get off the couch each day. The poor dear was so frustrated she is ready to tell the doctor to take her back to surgery and remove the expanders. I felt awful for her!

Needless to say their stories were not very encouraging, but I had to applaud them for being honest. If you want to witness true courage and strength pay a visit to an oncology or plastic surgery office. :(   It quickly sheds a lot of light on a situation! Soon it was my turn. The surgeon was thrilled with how everything looked from a surgery standpoint. I told him about my low grade fever Sunday and about the severe pain the night before. He too obviously thought possible blood clot issue as his eyes got big and he started assessing my calves and doing a simple manual blood clot check. Typically blood clots that travel to the lung originate in the legs. He said he thinks probably it was a muscle spasm.  Whatever it was I can live my whole life without it visiting me again!  The plan is to see him back Monday if I think the drains can come our or if I simply have questions or concerns. Otherwise I need to see him later next week. I reminded him about the 7 weeks of drainage I had the last time. He seemed somewhat concerned and again pointed out there was still a small pocket of fluid on one side. For now keeping my fingers crossed that all continues to go smoothly!

Between the painful night and today being my first trip out of the house my butt was kicked. So very appreciative for all the wonderful meals so we could just come home, eat, and find our way to the couch and chair!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Well, I can tell I'm not near up to speed. Keep skipping over and forgetting things. Guess you'll have that. :) Since the choice to move ahead with reconstruction was such a tough one I decided that once I made that decision I had to be happy with it and do everything I could to remain positive.  As mentioned before keeping busy through this entire journey has been key for me. Sitting around feeling sorry for myself was not part of my agenda. Thank goodness I love my kids and love nothing more than being involved in all their activities. That helped a lot but so did a few other things.

Anyone that knows me knows I am a compulsive house cleaner. Of course that was part of my pre -surgery prep...getting to the fall cleaning I wanted done and doing some fall decorating. But somewhere in the mix I firmly believe every woman needs some pampering.  Some of my girlfriends really wanted to do a girls night out. That would have been awesome but unfortunately pneumonia crossed that off the list. I wasn't willing to give up any of Brody's soccer games to go out with the girls because I knew I'd miss several after surgery. In fact it's about killed me that he joined football late in the season as he was recruited. We thought this was all to break him in for next year but then injuries among the other kickers occurred and Brody was thrown into his new roll. I have yet to see him play and it's killing me!!! Oh well I did at least get to see him on the Friday Night Frenzy on the news! Brad has been making it to all the soccer and football games so far so at least that helps.

Although there are so many things to do I did take an afternoon for some self pampering.On Wednesday before surgery I went to get my hair done and then got a pedicure!  It was absolutely heavenly. I would strongly suggest to anyone faced with health problems or simply challenges in their lives to splurge!  Spend that extra $25 even though you feel you shouldn't and do something for yourself. Better yet suggest to a spouse they give their loved one a gift certificate or treat them to dinner out. Everyone needs some relaxing down time before the stressful event. Heaven knows it will be awhile before life is back to normal. Recovery is a long road and no matter how uncomplicated it is never a cake walk.

Sunday I just wasn't feeling great. Had a low grade temp off and on during the evening. I did call the surgeons office Monday just to let them know that although I am aware low grade temps are normal for a lot of people after surgery they are not normal for me. I'm hoping it's related to the thick throat and draianage I was having leading up to and just after surgery. Everything looked fine-incisions, drain sites, and drainage. The doctor wasn't in anyway so staying with the plan to see him today, Tuesday, as scheduled. Then last night I woke up just before 3AM. I managed to make my way to the bathroom but was in excruciating pain. I struggled to get back to bed feeling dizzy and breaking into a huge hot flash and overwhelming nausea.  I haven't started those just yet so that was outta nowhere. I had to wake Brad to help me. What a horrible feeling!!! I wasn't short of breath but it hurt even to breathe at first.   I haven't even felt that bad waking up from surgery, even this time when I felt so not normal. He grabbed a cold wash cloth which settled the overheating. After a bit we made our way to the kitchen and I tried some Sprite and crackers and eventually something for pain. Had the symptoms not settled quickly I was going to head for the ER. Some of those symptoms can signal a blood clot that has traveled to the lung (pulmonary embolus) and of course the nurse in me set my wheels turning. However re positioning and the cold cloth helped a ton! He helped me to the Lazy Boy. Fortunately all that didn't last real long and I fell fast asleep. Even to me that was frightening. The only thing I can possibly conclude is I slept in the wrong position. I can only sleep on my back due to the drains in my outer chest and the pain of the expanders in my chest. I caught myself the other night dozing off with my arms above my head-not a good plan. I am thinking maybe while I slept I had my arms above my head stretching those freshly relocated muscles. OMG I hope whatever it was that it never happens again. I have been taking very few pain pills and sticking with the Tylenol and Motrin as much as possible due to the constipation and fleeting nausea. I took something last night but think I just grabbed Tylenol. Whatever it did the trick.

Have been pretty much wiped out so far today. Took forever to shower and had to nap between that and washing my hair. Now regrouping so I can head to a late Dr. appt. and feeling a little bit better.

Monday, September 24, 2012

My first day home alone. A friend from church brought Communion and Father called checking in. Dad and Dianne stopped by too so it was good to see faces. Four walls get a bit confining when you are used to being on the go all the time! Think I've done well.

Was up this morning and decided to go ahead and remove the pain ball/pump and then take a shower. That was rather strange. Because it was inserted so high in my chest it was hard for me to see the insertion point so I stood in front of the mirror and that helped. After removing the dressing I just slowly pulled up towards my chin until the the catheters were free. The black tips were intact as they should be so it was all good. I had no bleeding or drainage and it felt great to be rid of all that apparatus. My other dressings I removed after I got home except the ones around my drains. I clean around those with peroxide daily and place clean dressings.  Same process as before-milk the tubings and empty the drains as needed then record the drainage. Easy process.

Here is the whole pain ball system.  My brother swears it looks like something out of a weird sci-fi movie. I think he may be onto something! The gauze was in the middle of my chest as you saw in the prior post, the tubings and ball were in the fanny pack and the two antennae looking projections above the gauze were fed down into my chest. They were threaded into my chest 10 inches!  It didn't hurt when I removed them but I could feel the resistance and it was a strange feeling. Not for the squeemish that is for sure!

So how about something much more pleasant?  Brad and the kids sent me flowers that arrived Friday after I got home. Lots of pinks of course!  Very beautiful!

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Today was day three and just as they always tell you in the hospital it's this day that tends to be a little rough. Just like before I'm really tired and worn out. Moving around pretty well but going from a lying to a sitting position is really rough. You don't realize how many chest muscles you use to sit upright, you naturally relate abdominal muscles with that. Had some fleeting nausea today but it didn't last. Yesterday I took off the patch because dizziness and blurred vision are side effects and they were really bothering me. It served it's purpose to curtail nausea so off it came.

I feel the pain ball has really helped. This is a photo of the device and the fanny pack I wore to hold it. You can see that the bag is partially collapsed. The medication is in a ball in the center of the bag and as it is used it collapses. It is a pressurized system that slowly releases marcaine, a numbing agent, into the chest. I feel it controlled the sternal area pain very well but didn't really reach to the sides where my two Jackson Pratt (JP) drains are.  That's what the narcotic is for. I have to use it sparingly though as narcotics can cause extreme constipation. If you are a person that struggles with that I would caution you to immediately medicate yourself with stool softener and/or laxative after surgery. If you like prune juice that is a great natural substitute. That pain can be intense and every bit as bad or worse than the surgical pain.

I was not going to post this but Kinsey felt I should so that people could better understand what they may be facing if they needed a pain ball/pump.  I figure if it had a teenagers blessing it wasn't too much. You can see the medial markings on my upper chest. I was full of markings before surgery.  The gauze has tiny bore tubing coiled underneath it and then you can see the two catheters. They are just inserted under my skin and run mid chest to distribute the medication. The ball and tubing all nicely fit in the fanny pack. If you look you can see all the bumps on my belly. Those are the JP drains like I had the last time. They collect the bloody drainage and any fluid build up. Overall it's a lot of tubing to keep in check and not catch on clothing, vanity handles or door knobs as you are up and about. Taking a shower is a bit of a challenge but feels amazing!

We have once again been spoiled with meal deliveries. What a treat!  It's nice to get to see familiar faces when I'm couped up and it is a huge help not to have to worry about fixing meals. I am certainly not up to that yet. Brody has 4 games this week, possibly 5 so it's wonderful for he and Brad to get home and have healthy  food to heat up. Tonight I won't see them until close to 10pm! I have to say though, the homemade French Silk pie my sister-in-law made might win the award for best surprise. Holy cow was that heavenly!!!!  Thanks so much everyone for spoiling us.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Four hours in surgery yesterday and all went well. There was a lot of scar tissue that needed removed and would you believe he found a small pocket of fluid still there?  My pain was pretty well controlled when I woke but things just weren't right. It's normal to have some side effects from the anesthesia but it is difficult for me to describe how I felt. I had some nausea, my mind and my speech were not coordinating, I couldn't handle anyone even moving around me.  When they had me move from the surgery litter to the bed it was all I could do as my legs were like spaghetti. I just felt numb and like I was not in control.The nurses kept asking if my family could come to see me and I refused for at least 30 min. It was like I couldn't  even turn my head  to look at someone or even keep my eyes open to stare at a blank wall. So very creepy. To be honest the thought of a stroke crossed my mind. I truly felt that awful.  It was well after 8pm until I could talk in complete sentences without my thoughts wandering. I had never had this anesthesiologist and apparently he loaded me up during surgery. It was overwhelming and I  hope I never feel like that again!

The plastic surgeon said  I would have four drains and a pain ball/pump. It was my lucky day because I only ended up with two drains!  This was my seventh surgery and the first time I was ever told I couldn't take a walk the same day. I was allowed up to the restroom.  In this case not walking was a good thing because my sea legs weren't feeling it just yet. 

After my hysterectomy I had some issues with nausea from anesthesia. Therefore the past three surgeries they have given me what is called a scopolamine patch. It's a tiny little transdermal patch that goes behind your ear, a wonder drug for me!  Even with it I had to have some IV medicine to kick the nausea. Fortunately that did the trick and I only needed a one time dose. The patch is flesh colored and the size of  a dot band aid so very discreet and not in the way. It too has several side effects so is only to be left on 2-3 days.

Things were very different as I wasn't running into all the old gang I used to work with, neither of my kids could be there, and I stayed all night but in the surgery center. Brad stayed with me and low and behold I did happen to know one of the two night nurses. I was the only overnight patient and had two nurses so needless to say I was treated like a queen. In the middle of the night my blood pressure dropped to 84/40. This happened last time and is partly why I requested an overnight stay. I received a fluid bolus which worked for awhile then I was right back down to the 80's. After a second bolus my pressure was in an acceptable range. 

Friday morning my doctor came in and explained to me that he saw a lot scar tissue, that the skin on one breast is thinner than the other but it shouldn't be a problem, and that he did find that small pocket of fluid. I was headed home by 8:30 with two drains and a pain ball.