Monday, August 26, 2013
Our cancer support group met tonight for our monthly fellowship. We have been doing a book study which involves reading a book a few chapters at a time on our own then discussing what we read and how it pertains to our cancer experiences. The book is Beyond Cancer's Scars by F. Elaine Olsen. Elaine is a breast cancer survivor and quite a talented writer. She beautifully entwines her cancer journey and experiences with biblical accounts. She truly has a gift!
There are so many amazing points to be shared. She opens her writings with a most beautiful paragraph:
"Courageous is the soul who contends with suffering, wrestles with suffering, lays claim to a stronger spirit because of suffering, and refuses to retreat from the battle until something is gained from suffering. Even if that something is as small (or as huge) as befriending another soul walking a similar path."
Such powerful words! She frequently refers to the fact that we all have a "something" be it big or small. It may be cancer, it may be another struggle we face in life. We are "walking wounded". How right she is! We don't need an illness or a tragedy to feel despair and hopelessness, that comes far too often in our everyday lives. We need a "something" every once in awhile in our lives to redirect us, to help us focus on just what is important and to put things in perspective. It is how we deal with our "something" that matters.
It seems that although most of the summer was pleasant and relaxing it has ended with a great degree of sadness. Our community experienced the loss of a spring graduate of our local high school, a young man just 18 years old. He was a nephew to good friends of ours. A freak car accident claimed his life and left us all deeply saddened. Many began asking why such terrible things happen, especially to young people. As I watched our friends during their difficult time I began to understand that the accident and it's outcome was their "something". We all prayed that they would stay strong and our prayers were answered. Although Cole lost his life in a tragic accident, he and his family were able to give the greatest gift of all...the gift of life! Cole's family chose organ donation and by doing so Cole saved at least four other lives. As I reflect back to the paragraph above it fits so perfectly with his story. Cole's family had to have courage, they suffered the deepest loss one can suffer, the loss of a child. Yet they didn't retreat but rather trusted God and fought on. They took a terrible experience, a horrible "something", and made a miracle from it! God bless them!
Elaine's book is quick to point out that God doesn't want us to wander our paths alone, He wants us to bear our crosses and become stronger. By extending a hand to each other as we face our "something" we connect, share, grow, and learn. Almost daily I am reminded that my cancer diagnosis, although seemingly a curse at the time, has actually been a blessing. Because of it so many people have come into my life. I have grown in many ways, I have learned so much about myself and others as well as the disease, and because of it God has strengthened my faith. Certainly I would have never asked for this "something", but in hindsight it has brought me many blessings for which I am very grateful!
Through Thick and Thin
Monday, August 26, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
School is back in session and summer is nearly over. That's really a bummer to me because it was the first one in several years that we weren't feeling burdened with something major in our lives. After my last surgery I found myself struggling with left over feelings about my cancer journey. It seemed that since I was no longer preoccupied with surgeries, doctor appointments, dressing changes etc. I finally had time to just reflect on where I had been and where I was headed. There are some things that we can change about ourselves and our relationships, other paths we can choose, and of course there are things that can't be changed. I talked to Brad about some of my thoughts and asked if he would be willing to do some counseling with me. He declined. After much consideration I decided to go on my own. It seemed I needed help figuring out where my path was headed. Counseling was sort of a gift I gave myself. Our bodies work so hard to recover from the pain and physical aspects of an illness that sometimes we forget that our minds need tended to as well. Our local cancer support group is awesome for this, however I just felt I needed more.
Although family and close friends had offered their suggestions, speaking to a neutral person seemed to fit the bill for me. First was the confirmation that my family and I had been through a tremendous amount of stress related to health issues in a period of about five years-Brad's dad and my cousin both suffering serious strokes, my dad a massive heart attack, a hysterectomy for me, a mini-stroke for Brad, Kinsey a broken leg and surgery, sinus surgery for me, 10 months of severe debilitating headaches for Kinsey, gallbladder surgery and finally breast cancer for me. I was able to openly talk about the stress of medical bills, the toll it takes on a family when one member is down, and the frustrations of expectations in relationships. Whew! Just thinking about it all is exhausting!!! Sometimes it is good to hear that the feelings experienced are totally normal. It was also very helpful to have someone tell me to continue to stay strong in the face of all opposition and adversity and that sharing my story is very comforting as well as therapeutic. My oncologist encourages a holistic approach and she too confirmed therapeutic effects of the above, combined with a healthy diet and exercise.
Another topic I felt I needed to "get off my chest" (haha) had to do with my struggles with reconstruction. So many have asked me if I am happy with my decision to go through with it. Honestly, it was until today that I could completely say YES! As I was doing housework and thinking over the process today was the first time I could say I am happy with my decision. It was a horribly difficult one for me due to fear of infection and because I felt so much pressure from others that it was the choice I should make. My doctor was so reserved about it and made it very clear that reconstruction was my decision to make and only mine. I am very grateful to him for that opinion and guidance. Discussing those struggles, although they were behind me, was incredibly helpful and healing!
I have referenced it before but taking care of our minds and emotions is such a huge aspect to our health and well being. It doesn't matter what stage of life we are in or what we are facing, many of us could probably use a good dose of holistic health care. There are many days where something about my journey crosses my mind. Sometimes I still wish I had had a day where I just sat and cried and cried, just as an all out sort of cleansing system I guess. That hasn't happened. Talking to a neutral person who I could pay to listen to me instead of feeling like I was burdening a friend or relative was just the prescription for me! That decision alone helped me to feel more at ease and to be able to enjoy some great summer time fun with friends and family.
School is back in session and summer is nearly over. That's really a bummer to me because it was the first one in several years that we weren't feeling burdened with something major in our lives. After my last surgery I found myself struggling with left over feelings about my cancer journey. It seemed that since I was no longer preoccupied with surgeries, doctor appointments, dressing changes etc. I finally had time to just reflect on where I had been and where I was headed. There are some things that we can change about ourselves and our relationships, other paths we can choose, and of course there are things that can't be changed. I talked to Brad about some of my thoughts and asked if he would be willing to do some counseling with me. He declined. After much consideration I decided to go on my own. It seemed I needed help figuring out where my path was headed. Counseling was sort of a gift I gave myself. Our bodies work so hard to recover from the pain and physical aspects of an illness that sometimes we forget that our minds need tended to as well. Our local cancer support group is awesome for this, however I just felt I needed more.
Although family and close friends had offered their suggestions, speaking to a neutral person seemed to fit the bill for me. First was the confirmation that my family and I had been through a tremendous amount of stress related to health issues in a period of about five years-Brad's dad and my cousin both suffering serious strokes, my dad a massive heart attack, a hysterectomy for me, a mini-stroke for Brad, Kinsey a broken leg and surgery, sinus surgery for me, 10 months of severe debilitating headaches for Kinsey, gallbladder surgery and finally breast cancer for me. I was able to openly talk about the stress of medical bills, the toll it takes on a family when one member is down, and the frustrations of expectations in relationships. Whew! Just thinking about it all is exhausting!!! Sometimes it is good to hear that the feelings experienced are totally normal. It was also very helpful to have someone tell me to continue to stay strong in the face of all opposition and adversity and that sharing my story is very comforting as well as therapeutic. My oncologist encourages a holistic approach and she too confirmed therapeutic effects of the above, combined with a healthy diet and exercise.
Another topic I felt I needed to "get off my chest" (haha) had to do with my struggles with reconstruction. So many have asked me if I am happy with my decision to go through with it. Honestly, it was until today that I could completely say YES! As I was doing housework and thinking over the process today was the first time I could say I am happy with my decision. It was a horribly difficult one for me due to fear of infection and because I felt so much pressure from others that it was the choice I should make. My doctor was so reserved about it and made it very clear that reconstruction was my decision to make and only mine. I am very grateful to him for that opinion and guidance. Discussing those struggles, although they were behind me, was incredibly helpful and healing!
I have referenced it before but taking care of our minds and emotions is such a huge aspect to our health and well being. It doesn't matter what stage of life we are in or what we are facing, many of us could probably use a good dose of holistic health care. There are many days where something about my journey crosses my mind. Sometimes I still wish I had had a day where I just sat and cried and cried, just as an all out sort of cleansing system I guess. That hasn't happened. Talking to a neutral person who I could pay to listen to me instead of feeling like I was burdening a friend or relative was just the prescription for me! That decision alone helped me to feel more at ease and to be able to enjoy some great summer time fun with friends and family.
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